Project Bully on Your Case? Here Are the Negotiation Skills You Need to Get What You Want
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Date
If you’re new to project management, mastering negotiation skills is going to provide you with an invaluable asset to cope with real-life situations that drive project managers crazy sometimes.
If you’re a seasoned project manager, you’ll probably wish you’d read this post before!
In fact, negotiation skills offer many benefits to project managers. Most important, they:
- Equip you with tools and techniques to resolve differences and to mend hard feelings, instead of avoiding them
- Help you to build relationships with stakeholders
- Provide you with strategies to clarify expectations
- Improve your chances of getting support while also keeping conflict to manageable levels
- Facilitate a deeper understanding of stakeholders' needs, expectations and agendas
The term “negotiation” derives from Latin roots. Its original meaning likely won’t surprise you:
- “neg” means “not”
- “otium” means “leisure”
Negotiating isn’t easy. That’s why most people try to avoid or withdraw from negotiations. But doing this makes you worse off, increasing the chances of being exploited and bullied.
Stop for a moment and ask yourself: Did any stakeholder take advantage of you in a recent negotiation? Maybe your boss shouted at you, “Why are you still planning—when are you going to start doing some work?” Or perhaps a client asked, “It is just a small change to the requirements. Can’t you get it done by next week?”
Here are the Ten Commandments of negotiating with project bullies:
1. Prepare before starting to negotiate
2. Don’t be emotional. Don't take it personally
3. Always be honest
4. Put yourself in “their shoes”
5. Know your BATNA—the best alternative to a negotiated agreement
6. Identify the zone of potential agreement
7. Learn how to say no
8. Think long-term
9. Understand that every problem is an opportunity
10. Whenever possible, improve relationships and build trust
Have you ever taken a negotiation course? Or did you read a great book on negotiation that helped you as a project manager? Please share your thoughts, suggestions and experiences below.
Posted
by
Mario Trentim
on: August 06, 2015 11:04 AM |
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A very useful article, although i had three years of experience i still remember how difficult was negotiation with stakeholders. As you said , I wish I’d read this post before :) Thanks!
Mario Trentim
CEO| PMO Global Alliance
Sao Jose Dos Campos, Sao Paulo, Brazil
Thanks, Nancy! I've been practicing and teaching negotiation skills for a while. It's pretty annoying that people do not devote enough time to prepare for a negotiation. Sharpening these skills will prevent much disappointment for sure.
Salam Kalandos
Chief, Healthcare Technology Management - Clinical Engineering | US Department of Veterans Affairs
Chandler, Az, USA
So, the obvious unanswered question: "In whose opinion is that person a bully?". If there is general consensus amongst various staff members, then perhaps the problem is better addressed via hierarchical mgmt rather than the matrix of the project. I mean, maybe that person doesn't realize that they're being a "Bully". Maybe they see themselves as asserting authority or have a demanding managerial style. While those styles are less fashionable in today's business environment, they do still exist. And there are those who feel that the squeaky wheel gets the grease, so making their point loudly might be their way of making sure their interests are being addressed. Can you take a few minutes and try to put yourself in their place, asking, what's the project look like from this angle? Recap: Who's judging whether a person is a bully? Is it a case of "bully" is in the eye of the beholder?
Nice article...and thanks for sharing.
Mario Trentim
CEO| PMO Global Alliance
Sao Jose Dos Campos, Sao Paulo, Brazil
John Herman, thanks so much for your comment! You have a strong point and I agree with you that we have to put ourselves in their shoes (stakeholders).
Actually, I've been advocating that we have to invest time in understanding our stakeholders, their expectations and needs for a long time (amzn.to/10NgtpV).
When I wrote this particular post, I had a couple of real stakeholders in mind. And I can assure you they were bullies. A particular project sponsor forced unrealistic deadlines that he knew were not feasible because he wanted to please his bosses in the business case. Then, he blamed (and shouted at) the project manager for not achieving those deadlines.
You probably have some stories like that. Angry clients, bad sponsors or even dishonest stakeholders you had to deal with. And that's what I am talking about. On the next post, I am going to dive deeper into negotiation skills, tools and strategies that can help us thrive.
Best regards,
Mario
alan rossney
Project Manager| jacobs Engineering
Dublin, Dublin, Ireland
Excellent post. Succinct and to the point. The key is that everyone walks away with the sense that they have wone some ground for their case and have been treated with integrity.
Great article!
While I agree with the Ten Commandments in the article, here are some thoughts from my side
1)Tone and content of negotiations should change with the party on the other side of the table.
2) Underestimating the opponent would be a foolish thing to do. The opponent is also going to do his homework and so knowing that will help.
3) One should also be ready for a sudden "about turn" in the discussions and must be be a quick thinker to put forward your point in this changed scenario.
4) Its ok to agree to disagree. Negotiation should be aimed at a generally positive outcome for the most part
5) Be respectful even you are loosing the battle!
Steve Zingel
Senior Advisor| Housing New Zealand Corporation
Auckland, New Zealand
Excellent great to see commandment 7.
 | Anonymous |
Its very apperciating that you have post that material for the people who really want to grow up and build strong on their field. thanks for posting this article for the help of people.
Its very apperciating that you have post that material for the people who really want to grow up and build strong on their field. thanks for posting this article for the help of people.
Mario Trentim
CEO| PMO Global Alliance
Sao Jose Dos Campos, Sao Paulo, Brazil
Mario Trentim
CEO| PMO Global Alliance
Sao Jose Dos Campos, Sao Paulo, Brazil
Steve, commandment #7 is one of my favourites also. In the beginning of my career, I struggled with that a lot. I recommend you to read William Ury's books. There are also TED videos and other references about him on the internet. Best regards, Mario.
Manas De Amin
Director| Computer Technology Group Kolkata
Kolkata, West Bengal, India
Great article Mario. I believe commandment #2 really influences the whole negotiation process. Control over emotions can really make the difference.
Commandment #7 is my weakest area. I need to work on it.
Ability to negotiate successfully is also dependent on other factors. A company which is not doing business well, is left with little options to negotiate strongly. It's primary focus is to get business. It's particularly true in developing countries and with small/medium business.
I like the additional commandments of Deepa Bhide. Very realistic.
Mario Trentim
CEO| PMO Global Alliance
Sao Jose Dos Campos, Sao Paulo, Brazil
Deepa, thanks for your comments. I liked your suggestions a lot. Always "be respectful" is a strong characteristic of a true leader.
Mario Trentim
CEO| PMO Global Alliance
Sao Jose Dos Campos, Sao Paulo, Brazil
Thanks, Manas. Negotiations skills are impacted by different factors such as organisational culture, personal values, experience / background, and more. We have to learn how to effectively use best practices and tools to improve the results of our daily negotiations.
Abdullah Al Mamoon
Deputy Managing Director & COO| United Commercial Bank PLC
Dhaka, Bangladesh
Negotiation with a vendor or service provider is lot more easier than negotiating with internal stakeholders or the ultimate beneficiaries of the project outcomes. I had been working on the upgrade of a sensitive business technology system. And one of the business users had been referring to past experiences during the finalization and sign-off of business requirements documents. He wasn''t agreeing to sign-off although all his pain points were addressed to in the document. Ultimately, developed a proto-type and demonstrated how the gaps would be accommodated in the upgrade version and then he finally signed.
I am not sure which commandment did I follow..! But it worked..!!
Thanks a really good and simple article with clear to understand points.
Thanks
Gagan Mathur
Project Manager| ANZ Operations and Technology Pvt. Ltd.
Ghaziabad, Uttar Pradesh, India
Nice post and excellent add on by various members.
I've mostly worked in services companies during my entire career in IT industry. For the last two and half years I worked for a company that was non service based, weak matrix and is highly fragmented. Trust me, running even a smallest project in such an environment is an Hercules task. All my project management theories and experiences went for a toss.
Therefore, in my opinion a lot depends on the environment in which a person is working and how mature the project management processes are in the organization. In certain environment most of the project management principles might not work. The only way to succeed in such an organization is stay long and enhance your network. This is because people work only based upon on your personal relations or how important your project is for their visibility in the company.
Mario Trentim
CEO| PMO Global Alliance
Sao Jose Dos Campos, Sao Paulo, Brazil
Yes, Gagan. I agree. It depends a lot on the environment. I believe we have to develop what I call "political awareness" and master a different skills' set for every situation.
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