(image courtesy :- www.linkedin.com )
The importance of a morning pick-me-up cannot be understated. Even after I shower and get ready for work , I am not really awake until that shot of Java hits my veins.
Lately I have been reading a lot of books on Emotional Intelligence and Conversational Intelligence on the tram on the way to work. Before I reach work, four days out of five, I do not have my caffeine fix.
While I am reading , the words seem like worms wriggling on the page and I tend to see myself reading the same paragraphs over and over again. Some of the examples and stories presented in the books are easy to understand, yet for the larger part of what I read, My pre-frontal cortex or the "sensible" part of my brain tells me that none of these messages about improving Self Awareness, Self Management, Social Awareness and Relationship Management are making sense. Still I persist with the book as I persisted with some of my course notes at University.
I get to my favorite coffee shop and I am greeted warmly by the same friendly barista. "Warm" ? where did I see that word last? Oh Yes, I was just reading "Conversational Intelligence" by Judith Glasser on the tram. What was the reference to warm? Ah ! yes, something about you feeling warm towards the other person when you have a warm drink in your hand ? Bang !!! there it is ! All makes sense.
And all of a sudden, I am talking to the barista about the weather, whether I will be having a busy day, did I do something exciting over the weekend . I have established trust with this person. What was that acronym again? Ah ! FORCES are at play ! Fairness Ownership Reciprocity Cooperation Expression Status . I see Fairness in the conversation, I can take ownership of this communication, I can reciprocate the other person's feelings, I can Cooperate with them, Express myself and feel high self esteem.I have ended up implementing some thoughts presented in this book.
At the same time , subconsciously I have found myself becoming more self aware of my inner thoughts . I have started deciding what I should or shouldn't feel .I am self managing myself by coming out of my shell and thinking about what I should and shouldn't say. I have started observing the body language of the barista and tailoring my relationship management skills to converse with them. Bang ! I have now also used tips from the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves. If I can do this with the barista, who is pretty genial and jovial nine times out of ten, why can't I use the same with any person I interact with? " Is this a coffee or an elixir of life ? " I ask myself.
I then reach work and give a big broad smile to the first workmate I find either in the lift, in the corridor or in the office. I even greet everyone "warmly" in the office. In the few minutes between getting out of the tram and having a few sips of coffee, I have applied the principles of Conversational Intelligence and Emotional Intelligence and the local coffee shop has just become my conversation catalyst.