From Crawl to Walk to Run: How Productive Struggle Builds Stronger Leaders

Jessica is a Senior Instructional Designer and Project Manager at M&T Bank who designs and leads leadership development programs that help people grow, connect, and lead with confidence. She is passionate about turning complex projects into learning experiences that are practical, purposeful, and grounded in real work.

  Leadership  

When my husband and I had our first child, we were quick to swoop in and solve every little problem for her. And as our very happy, stubborn Taurus, she was perfectly content to let us.

By the time she was 17 months old, we had welcomed our second baby, and she still wasn’t walking. With daycare drop-offs for two kids looming, she was still more than happy being carried everywhere.

One morning at daycare, I was talking with her teacher about how overwhelmed I felt with two kids heading there, how I couldn’t imagine carrying both babies inside every day. The teacher looked at me kindly and said, “You need to put her down and make her walk.”

That’s when it clicked. By rescuing her from the wobbles, the bumps, and the falls, we were rescuing her from learning.

So, we stopped carrying her. We set her down, supported her, and cheered her on. Three weeks later, she took those first independent steps. The pride on her face said it all: the struggle wasn’t wasted, and it was exactly what made the achievement meaningful. And, if I’m being honest, it also saved my back.

Leading projects is no different. Carrying one person’s work might feel doable for a while, but as the team grows it quickly becomes unsustainable and counterproductive. Just as I couldn’t carry two children everywhere, leaders can’t carry every …

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