The 4 Building Blocks of Emotional Intelligence (Part 2): Control Thyself
Lonnie Pacelli is an Accenture/Microsoft veteran with four decades of learnings under his belt. He frequently writes and speaks on leadership, project management, work/life balance, and disability inclusion. Reach him at [email protected] and see more at ProjectManagementAdvisor.com.
Emotional intelligence (or emotional quotient, EI or EQ) is widely viewed as a skill that leaders need to master to deliver results through others. As a quick summary, my lens on emotional intelligence consists of four building blocks:
- Know Thyself – Understanding your strengths and weaknesses
- Control Thyself – Recognizing how your actions impact others
- Understand Others – Observing the strengths, weaknesses and emotions of others
- Relate for Results – Synthesizing how to adapt, coach, mentor, influence and advise to deliver results
The three blocks are all necessary prerequisites for the fourth, which is the rationale for expressing as follows:
Part 1 of this series focused on Know Thyself. This article’s topic is the second block, Control Thyself. To help introduce the topic, meet Paul.
Paul was a hard-charging project manager who had a reputation with his management for getting things done. He knew the PM fundamentals cold and could use his knowledge to navigate through projects. Ninety percent of the time, Paul was easy to work with. Unfortunately, he was known among his peers and project teams for the 10 percent.
When things got stressful on a project, whether from not meeting schedule, conflicts among team members or unforeseen issues, Paul was unpredictable in his reactions. Sometimes he would be okay with things…
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"Maybe this world is another planet's hell." - Aldous Huxley |
