Luis BrancoCEO| Business Insight, Consultores de Gestão, LdªCarcavelos, Lisboa, Portugal
Feb 17, 2020 11:02 AM
Replying to Peter Rapin
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I think there is a line between "biting one's tongue (BoT)" (swallowing a frog) and being true to oneself and others. Sometimes BoT is the easy way out and/or suits the immediate need however if not careful it can come back and "bite your ass" (another useful expression). I believe there is a subtle difference between admitting an error and "swallowing the frog". Admitting an error is honorable however refusing to assign blame may be considered "biting the tongue. I see "political correct" (PC) as a totally different concept. This is where you attempt to conform to cultural norms rather than serve project or personal needs. A cultural norm may dictate 50/50 split between male and female staff however your preference would be to base human resources solely on merit. A good project manager understands the differences and considers project impacts - be true to oneself as a first priority, bite ones tongue when necessary and allow for for cultural norms as appropriate. Hopefully I achieved all three herein.
Dear Peter Thank you for participating in this reflection and for your opinion
Interesting what you wrote: "A good project manager understands the differences and considers project impacts - be true to oneself as a first priority, bite ones tongue when necessary and allow for for cultural norms as appropriate" Saving Changes...
Dear Daire
Obtained for sharing your opinion with us
Sometimes not swallowing frogs or hand is politically correct for exactly the reason you described: the job staying at stake
Dear Luis,
The this would go back to the discussion thread on free speech in the workplace. If we cant speak up for fear of losing our jobs then the concept of free speech does not then exist in the workplace.
People should not be afraid of the truth if they have nothing to hide. Again like minded people seem to congeal together so if one person has something to hide then they all must have something to hide. It would be like unraveling a ball of string and trying to find the centre.
Daire
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1 reply by Peter Rapin
Feb 17, 2020 1:35 PM
Peter Rapin
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Definition of "free speech": - say whatever one wants, wherever one wants to whomever one wants - regardless of circumstances or consequences.
Speech has to be tempered by social norms and one must consider the circumstances.
If you want complete free speech than you have to accept the consequences be they job loss, social exclusion, or worst. If you can't accept the consequences keep you mouth shut and let others carry the load..
Saving Changes...
Peter RapinSubject Matter Expect; Project Delivery| Independent ConsultantOntario, Canada
Feb 17, 2020 11:55 AM
Replying to Daire Guiney
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Dear Luis,
The this would go back to the discussion thread on free speech in the workplace. If we cant speak up for fear of losing our jobs then the concept of free speech does not then exist in the workplace.
People should not be afraid of the truth if they have nothing to hide. Again like minded people seem to congeal together so if one person has something to hide then they all must have something to hide. It would be like unraveling a ball of string and trying to find the centre.
Daire
Definition of "free speech": - say whatever one wants, wherever one wants to whomever one wants - regardless of circumstances or consequences.
Speech has to be tempered by social norms and one must consider the circumstances.
If you want complete free speech than you have to accept the consequences be they job loss, social exclusion, or worst. If you can't accept the consequences keep you mouth shut and let others carry the load..
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1 reply by Daire Guiney
Feb 18, 2020 12:58 PM
Daire Guiney
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Dear Peter,
There is a difference between Free speech and standing up for what you believe in which is what the power of free speech is suppose to protect. Free speech and opinion go together as well as free speech and educating and informing people.
As we grow older we lose our innocence of childhood which is not aware of what we call social norms. This is probably the last time we are truly honest to ourselves. Everything afterward is conditioned by who is around us, what they may think and how you maybe perceived. It is in all honesty living a lie and living in a bubble of our own making. Maybe its time to step of this self imposed exile, wake up and be ourselves. That is probably the hardest task for us all to deliver.
Daire
Saving Changes...
Jeremy DacuycuySenior Project Manager| UC Davis HealthSacramento, Ca, United States
Feb 17, 2020 4:46 AM
Replying to Jeremy Dacuycuy
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Hi Luis, I too had to look up what swallowing frogs meant.
I recently had an experience where a resource manager said they no longer had resources for my high profile project in front of other managers. Yet when I escalated the situation, I was told by him that workers from his department were now available. I wanted to call him a liar but decided to take the high road since I will have to continue working with him in the long run and I need to continue a respectable relationship with him.
I kept quiet because in the end, the resource manager was forced to do something he did not want - give me the resource needed for my project. In the end, I still won and there was no need to escalate the situation any further. Saving Changes...
LORI WILSONRETIRED - Technical Project Manager| RETIRED - LifePoint HealthClarkston, Wa, United States
This is one of the reasons I enjoy this site so much - I learn about other cultures, different sayings, various perspectives. PMI was very wise to create this platform for us. It is so important for us to have a place where we can communicate with one another and learn from one another. I make mistakes every day - I try not to, but I do - when I do, and when it is appropriate - I apologize. Sometimes I bite my tongue and don't say respond because it is not politically correct - but most often I am quiet out of respect. Sometimes I have to admit failures. I can relate to all these things. The main things I focus on are being honest, respectful and genuine.
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1 reply by Luis Branco
Feb 18, 2020 3:46 AM
Luis Branco
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Dear Lori
Thank you for participating in this reflection and for your opinion
I am convinced that we all swallow frogs ... some are bigger ... others smaller :-)
Saving Changes...
Luis BrancoCEO| Business Insight, Consultores de Gestão, LdªCarcavelos, Lisboa, Portugal
Feb 17, 2020 5:17 PM
Replying to LORI WILSON
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This is one of the reasons I enjoy this site so much - I learn about other cultures, different sayings, various perspectives. PMI was very wise to create this platform for us. It is so important for us to have a place where we can communicate with one another and learn from one another. I make mistakes every day - I try not to, but I do - when I do, and when it is appropriate - I apologize. Sometimes I bite my tongue and don't say respond because it is not politically correct - but most often I am quiet out of respect. Sometimes I have to admit failures. I can relate to all these things. The main things I focus on are being honest, respectful and genuine.
Dear Lori
Thank you for participating in this reflection and for your opinion
I am convinced that we all swallow frogs ... some are bigger ... others smaller :-) Saving Changes...
Definition of "free speech": - say whatever one wants, wherever one wants to whomever one wants - regardless of circumstances or consequences.
Speech has to be tempered by social norms and one must consider the circumstances.
If you want complete free speech than you have to accept the consequences be they job loss, social exclusion, or worst. If you can't accept the consequences keep you mouth shut and let others carry the load..
Dear Peter,
There is a difference between Free speech and standing up for what you believe in which is what the power of free speech is suppose to protect. Free speech and opinion go together as well as free speech and educating and informing people.
As we grow older we lose our innocence of childhood which is not aware of what we call social norms. This is probably the last time we are truly honest to ourselves. Everything afterward is conditioned by who is around us, what they may think and how you maybe perceived. It is in all honesty living a lie and living in a bubble of our own making. Maybe its time to step of this self imposed exile, wake up and be ourselves. That is probably the hardest task for us all to deliver.
Daire
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1 reply by Peter Rapin
Feb 18, 2020 1:30 PM
Peter Rapin
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Free speech comes with accountability and responsibility. Free speech does not give one blanket authority to hurt others or promote situations which may cause hurt to others.
One must also recognize that one's beliefs are not necessarily shared by others and that others have as much right to their beliefs and free speech as you do.
Personally, I will allow others the freedom of thought, belief and opinion without judgement. However, I will not accept others imposing their thoughts, beliefs or opinions on me. As you use the concept of free speech to impose your views on me I will do likewise to you. At some point I will walk away. If, in my opinion, your free speech results in a threat to me or my society I will take steps to protect.
Considering how one's actions may impact on those around one is not ageism let alone negative. Its called maturing and accepting your role in a civilized society.
Saving Changes...
Peter RapinSubject Matter Expect; Project Delivery| Independent ConsultantOntario, Canada
Feb 18, 2020 12:58 PM
Replying to Daire Guiney
...
Dear Peter,
There is a difference between Free speech and standing up for what you believe in which is what the power of free speech is suppose to protect. Free speech and opinion go together as well as free speech and educating and informing people.
As we grow older we lose our innocence of childhood which is not aware of what we call social norms. This is probably the last time we are truly honest to ourselves. Everything afterward is conditioned by who is around us, what they may think and how you maybe perceived. It is in all honesty living a lie and living in a bubble of our own making. Maybe its time to step of this self imposed exile, wake up and be ourselves. That is probably the hardest task for us all to deliver.
Daire
Free speech comes with accountability and responsibility. Free speech does not give one blanket authority to hurt others or promote situations which may cause hurt to others.
One must also recognize that one's beliefs are not necessarily shared by others and that others have as much right to their beliefs and free speech as you do.
Personally, I will allow others the freedom of thought, belief and opinion without judgement. However, I will not accept others imposing their thoughts, beliefs or opinions on me. As you use the concept of free speech to impose your views on me I will do likewise to you. At some point I will walk away. If, in my opinion, your free speech results in a threat to me or my society I will take steps to protect.
Considering how one's actions may impact on those around one is not ageism let alone negative. Its called maturing and accepting your role in a civilized society. Saving Changes...
"Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious and immature."