Politely dealing with that team member who can't stop talking!
Anonymous
Do you have any tips for politely ending a conversation with someone when every time you ask about a quick update and they tell you everything they know?
A new person joined my team and every quick question from me on how things are going turns into a 30 minute explanation. I think they are trying to show they have the knowledge to be trusted.
I don't want to send the message that I am too busy to listen. I want to send the message that I trust you but the quick conversations are so I can explain to my bosses what everyone is doing when I get asked instead of dragging you into meetings. Saving Changes...
Yasir IkramProject Manager| VX Studio Engineering ConsultancyDubai, United Arab Emirates
I had similar situations in the past. Best way is to inform them directly that you just need a brief on the subject for now and will call them later in case further details are required. Saving Changes...
I agree with Yasir - direct feedback in a 1:1 meeting is probably a good idea. You might provide them an example of the type of update you are looking for and let them know that if you need more detail, you will ask for it (rather than them assuming you need it).
Senior Projects Manager | Field & Marten AssociatesNew Westminster, British Columbia, Canada
Totally in line with Yasir and Kiron’s input. Saving Changes...
Ramon RoblesRegional People Services Manager, Americas| HMNj, United States
Short term when it happens:
"Hey, I am really sorry to cut you off. Unfortunately I am on a time crunch and I believe I have what I need, let me quickly recap to make sure so we can move onto the next thing"
Longer term:
As others here have mentioned, if this is consistent and it's inefficient for you, schedule a 1:1, be straightforward and empathetic. You don't want to demotivate the person. Saving Changes...
You can ask for a written project update, setting a form with all the information you need to know about the status, and with the adequate entries size, to make it clear you want a summary. Saving Changes...
Thomas WalentaGlobal Project Economy ExpertHackenheim, Germany
The one task is to get rid of him when he shows this behaviour.
The other is to change him, his behaviour. Best is to understand why he is acting like this, maybe he is not even aware of it (blind spot). And he lacks empathy when he does not notice your reaction. Let him work on his emotional intelligence. Maybe do a team exercise on EI. Saving Changes...
Peter RapinSubject Matter Expect; Project Delivery| Independent ConsultantOntario, Canada
I would suggest there may be a mismatch of expectations. It is up to you to clearly state your expectations and reinforce those until he understands. Otherwise he will continue to waste your time and/or you will start avoiding him - neither of which is a good thing. Saving Changes...
Karthikeyan SubramaniyamSr. Technical Program Manager - AI Strategy| nVidiaMilpitas, Ca, United States
Though it's easy to share suggestion, it's really tough and needs practice and following multi-step approach to deal the situation.
Deal the situation in a meeting:
- It's difficult to interfere first: "Sorry to interrupt, you have a great/valuable points. Much appreciated for sharing. However, for the interest of time and/or current focus of the meeting, can we take this offline or we can schedule specific meeting to go in details, would that be ok. Appreciate your understanding"
For a repetitive situation, yes, you can use 1:1, or asking right questions back so that he realizes it (would you mind sharing why is this important, how does it impact, quantify, etc), or finally getting help from his/her management
...
1 reply by Peter Rapin
Jan 19, 2023 11:26 AM
Peter Rapin
...
I am not sure that being sorry and asking for permission to stay on agenda is a sign of leadership.
Saving Changes...
Matthew WeidlerSr. Project Manager| CO-OP Financial ServicesRancho Cucamonga, Ca, United States
All great points, but consider also looking in the mirror. Are you, in fact, giving them enough time and attention to make them feel valued when you don’t have a good reason for being in a rush? Are you over-loaded and treating everyone and everything like a transaction instead of a person? I’m certainly at-fault for doing this to my people when I feel overwhelmed.
...
2 replies by Matthew Weidler and Peter Rapin
Jan 19, 2023 11:28 AM
Peter Rapin
...
You are being retained to deliver a project not play nursemaid to immature individuals needing constant attention. Be professional, be respectful but keep your eyes on the road.
Community Champion
