Project Management

Please login or join to subscribe to this thread

Have you felt the loneliness of project leadership?

linkedin twitter facebook  
avatar
Mayte Mata Sivera PMO Leader | Speaker | Author Ut, United States

I’m exploring a potential article or bigger project around the emotional side of stepping into leadership roles in project management.
When I moved into a director role, I didn’t expect how isolating it could feel. The shift in relationships, the pressure to always appear “strong”...none of that was in the playbook.
1 - Have you experienced this kind of shift?
2 - How did you navigate it?
3 - What helped you stay connected and grounded?
I’d love to hear your thoughts or stories.

Sort By:
< 1 2 >
avatar
Kiron Bondale Retired | Mentor| Retired Welland, Ontario, Canada
Mayte -

Great topic to explore!

All leadership roles come with this sense of isolation but in the PM case it is compounded by rarely having formal authority and it's temporal nature.

Kiron
...
1 reply by Mayte Mata Sivera
Apr 22, 2025 2:29 PM
Mayte Mata Sivera
...
Thank you Kiron Bondale for your answer. Agree that is temporal, maybe you are doing a sensitive or confidential project and then makes sense the temporal piece.

I'm focusing when you have a leadership role, maybe you manage a PMO and have a few PMs as direct reports or you are a people manager. Any tips or comments in that case?
avatar
Pavan Maddi
Community Champion
Buona Vista, Singapore
Mayte Mata Sivera Yes,Moving into leadership can feel isolating suddenly you’re the one others look to for answers. What helped me was building a peer support network, staying open with mentors, and reminding myself it’s okay to not have all the answers. Connection makes a big difference.
...
1 reply by Mayte Mata Sivera
Apr 22, 2025 2:30 PM
Mayte Mata Sivera
...
@Pavan Maddi, thank you for your comments. That's a good comment, having a network support is key.
avatar
Rami Kaibni
Community Champion
Senior Projects Manager | Field & Marten Associates New Westminster, British Columbia, Canada

Mayte, this is a very interesting topic. Over the years, as I moved up the ladder, I definitely experienced that sense of isolation at times. What helped me most was staying actively engaged with the team through regular collaboration.

In my experience, isolation tends to creep in when someone leads from the back. But when you lead from the front (i.e. working hand in hand with your team), the effects of that “isolation syndrome” fade significantly.

...
1 reply by Mayte Mata Sivera
Apr 22, 2025 2:31 PM
Mayte Mata Sivera
...
@Rami Kaibni, thank you for your comment, I really like it your perspective.
avatar
Luis Branco CEO| Business Insight, Consultores de Gestão, Ldª Carcavelos, Lisboa, Portugal

Thank you for opening this conversation — it’s deeply needed.
Yes, I’ve felt the weight that often accompanies leadership — especially the kind of “loneliness” that comes not from being alone, but from the belief that we should be.
But over time, I’ve come to see that this “loneliness of leadership” is, in many cases, a cultural narrative, not a structural truth.

We’ve inherited an outdated playbook that says:
- Leaders must be self-sufficient.
- Doubt is weakness.
- Decisions must be made in isolation.

Yet models like Cognitive Agility and Farmer Leadership challenge that paradigm.

In Farmer Leadership:
- Leadership isn’t solitary — it’s systemic.
- The leader doesn’t command from above but cultivates from within.
- If we feel alone, perhaps we’re disconnected from the cycles that sustain us — feedback, learning, co-creation.

In Cognitive Agility:
- We don’t lead with answers, but with curiosity.
- We don’t rely on individual certainty, but on collective sensemaking.
- Leadership becomes less about appearing “strong,” and more about holding space for discovery.

So how did I navigate this shift?
I stopped trying to “carry” everything and started:
- Sharing the uncertainty — out loud.
- Creating spaces for mutual learning, not top-down direction.
- Redefining leadership not as solitude, but as intentional connection.

What helps me stay grounded today is knowing that leadership is no longer about walking ahead of others — but about walking with.

Thank you again for this important invitation. I’d love to see where this article leads.

...
1 reply by Mayte Mata Sivera
Apr 22, 2025 2:32 PM
Mayte Mata Sivera
...
@Luis, thank you for your detailed answer. I'm liked the cultura narrative vs the structural true.
avatar
Eduard Hernandez
Community Champion
Product Operations Program Manager Barcelona, Cataluña, Spain
Great topic and insightful comments so far.

One challenge I’ve often faced as a leader is finding the right balance between being assertive and not coming across as a pushover. Leadership puts us in the spotlight—we’re expected to maintain a high level of professionalism while staying connected to the human side of the business.

Feelings of isolation can become especially pronounced during high-pressure moments, such as in the lead-up to a high-stakes go-live. While staying true to oneself and maintaining a strong professional presence might not eliminate that sense of loneliness, it can help mitigate the impact of setbacks or unforeseen events.

At the end of the day, no one is perfect—we all make mistakes. That’s why humility and accountability are essential traits of a truly grounded and authentic leader.
...
1 reply by Mayte Mata Sivera
Apr 22, 2025 2:34 PM
Mayte Mata Sivera
...
Eduard Hernandez thank you for your comment! Agree no one is perfect!
avatar
Kwiyuh Michael Wepngong
Community Champion
Financial Management Specialist | US Peace Corps Yaounde, Centre, Cameroon
someone once said "It is lonely at the top"
May be the reality too in project management
...
1 reply by Mayte Mata Sivera
Apr 22, 2025 2:34 PM
Mayte Mata Sivera
...
@Kwiyuh thank you for your comment! Yes, it is a reality in project management too.
avatar
Mayte Mata Sivera PMO Leader | Speaker | Author Ut, United States
Apr 19, 2025 4:43 AM
Replying to Kiron Bondale
...
Mayte -

Great topic to explore!

All leadership roles come with this sense of isolation but in the PM case it is compounded by rarely having formal authority and it's temporal nature.

Kiron
Thank you Kiron Bondale for your answer. Agree that is temporal, maybe you are doing a sensitive or confidential project and then makes sense the temporal piece.

I'm focusing when you have a leadership role, maybe you manage a PMO and have a few PMs as direct reports or you are a people manager. Any tips or comments in that case?
avatar
Mayte Mata Sivera PMO Leader | Speaker | Author Ut, United States
Apr 20, 2025 9:22 AM
Replying to Pavan Maddi
...
Mayte Mata Sivera Yes,Moving into leadership can feel isolating suddenly you’re the one others look to for answers. What helped me was building a peer support network, staying open with mentors, and reminding myself it’s okay to not have all the answers. Connection makes a big difference.
@Pavan Maddi, thank you for your comments. That's a good comment, having a network support is key.
avatar
Mayte Mata Sivera PMO Leader | Speaker | Author Ut, United States
Apr 20, 2025 12:45 PM
Replying to Rami Kaibni
...

Mayte, this is a very interesting topic. Over the years, as I moved up the ladder, I definitely experienced that sense of isolation at times. What helped me most was staying actively engaged with the team through regular collaboration.

In my experience, isolation tends to creep in when someone leads from the back. But when you lead from the front (i.e. working hand in hand with your team), the effects of that “isolation syndrome” fade significantly.

@Rami Kaibni, thank you for your comment, I really like it your perspective.
avatar
Mayte Mata Sivera PMO Leader | Speaker | Author Ut, United States
Apr 20, 2025 1:34 PM
Replying to Luis Branco
...

Thank you for opening this conversation — it’s deeply needed.
Yes, I’ve felt the weight that often accompanies leadership — especially the kind of “loneliness” that comes not from being alone, but from the belief that we should be.
But over time, I’ve come to see that this “loneliness of leadership” is, in many cases, a cultural narrative, not a structural truth.

We’ve inherited an outdated playbook that says:
- Leaders must be self-sufficient.
- Doubt is weakness.
- Decisions must be made in isolation.

Yet models like Cognitive Agility and Farmer Leadership challenge that paradigm.

In Farmer Leadership:
- Leadership isn’t solitary — it’s systemic.
- The leader doesn’t command from above but cultivates from within.
- If we feel alone, perhaps we’re disconnected from the cycles that sustain us — feedback, learning, co-creation.

In Cognitive Agility:
- We don’t lead with answers, but with curiosity.
- We don’t rely on individual certainty, but on collective sensemaking.
- Leadership becomes less about appearing “strong,” and more about holding space for discovery.

So how did I navigate this shift?
I stopped trying to “carry” everything and started:
- Sharing the uncertainty — out loud.
- Creating spaces for mutual learning, not top-down direction.
- Redefining leadership not as solitude, but as intentional connection.

What helps me stay grounded today is knowing that leadership is no longer about walking ahead of others — but about walking with.

Thank you again for this important invitation. I’d love to see where this article leads.

@Luis, thank you for your detailed answer. I'm liked the cultura narrative vs the structural true.
< 1 2 >

Please login or join to reply

Content ID:
ADVERTISEMENTS

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."

- Berlioz

ADVERTISEMENT

Sponsors