What is your view on how to better accept feedback?

Laura Lazzerini
Accepting feedback is indeed a skill.
Lke any skill, it can be developed with practice and intentionality.
From professional experience, three elements make the biggest difference:

- Clarity before reaction - Fully understanding the feedback before responding is key.
Asking clarifying questions rather than immediately defending a position signals openness and prevents misunderstandings.
- Separate content from emotion - Distinguishing between how feedback is delivered and what is being said helps prevent tone or style from overshadowing valuable insights.
- Filter with purpose - Not all feedback needs to be applied.
Evaluating it against objectives, values, and context ensures relevance.
Sometimes the most constructive action is to acknowledge the feedback, thank the person, and decide not to act on it — explaining why, if appropriate.

Example: In one project, a stakeholder provided feedback that conflicted with the agreed scope.
By thanking them, clarifying their intent, and explaining the constraints, trust was maintained while the project stayed on track.

In short: listen openly, process critically, and act intentionally.
Feedback is a resource, but like any resource, its value comes from how it is used.

Laura,

Humility is key.
See yourself from the outside (as others do).
Do not think you are superior to others (we all die with empty pockets).

Do not take feedback personally.
Do not feel attacked or offended, nor should you be full of pride and glee about seemingly positive feedback.
Do not take feedback as a fact; take it as data and combine it with other input.
Some people are just not good at giving feedback. And some people are just wrong. It is easier to change yourself than others.

I ask my team to let me know in advance before giving me feedback. This means starting with a question such as: “Is this a good moment to share some feedback?” or “Can I give you some feedback?”

When they do, I take a minute to shift into a coaching mindset and prepare myself to listen without reacting. I focus on listening attentively, acknowledging their input, and noting the key points. I then close by saying: “Thank you for the feedback. Give me some time to reflect, and I’ll get back to you with an action plan.”

"I think accepting feedback well is less about ego-control and more about clarity-control.

One thing that’s worked for me as a leader: I don’t just listen to what is being said, I try to understand why it’s being said. Is it about improving the work? The process? My leadership? That context shapes whether I act on it immediately, park it for later, or simply acknowledge it and move on.

Also - feedback is data, not a verdict. Just because it’s given doesn’t mean it’s automatically correct or relevant. The real skill is filtering it without letting defensiveness take the driver’s seat.

My quick checklist:

* Listen fully before forming a response

* Separate the emotion from the information

* Confirm my understanding (“So what I’m hearing is…”)

* Decide: act, adapt, or archive

This is how I received feedback: