You may have heard of command and control project management. It was one of those things we heard whispers about, when I was just getting started as a project manager, but never really experienced. In my latest post...
...I talk about the approach many us have experienced - all the responsibility, none of the authority, and the need to use influence to motivate others. What tips can you share for effective influence? Saving Changes...
If you focus on building a positive, two-way relationship with a stakeholder, influence becomes a beneficial outcome. If the focus is on influencing first, the relationship will suffer.
Kiron
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1 reply by Aaron Porter
Nov 09, 2025 6:21 PM
Aaron Porter
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Kiron Bondale while I don't think we disagree on the results, I would say that I don't think you can have influence without relationships - it's part of the definition. Without at least some rapport, it stops being influence and falls somewhere in the territory of manipulation, coercion, or persuasion. Focusing on influence, first, would imply relationship building was part of the equation.
PMO Leader | Speaker & Mentor | Content Leader – PMOGA Latin America
Hub| Catholic University of UruguayMontevideo, Montevideo, Uruguay
🎯 Keys to influencing without authority • Empathy first: Understand others' priorities and emotions. • Consistent credibility: Be consistent, clear, and reliable. • Communicate in their language: Align your message with their interests and values. • Tell stories: Use narratives that connect with what matters. • Ask questions, don't impose: Invite collaboration. • Be the example: Model the behavior you want to see. • Connect informal networks: Identify allies and multipliers of influence. • Give public recognition: Recognition strengthens relationships and commitment.
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1 reply by Aaron Porter
Nov 09, 2025 6:26 PM
Aaron Porter
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Fabian Crosa, Great points! Two that stand out the most, to me, are:
1) Align your message with their interests and values 2) ...connect with what matters
Influence, to me, starts with trust and consistency. People follow those who listen, understand, and stand by their word. I focus on aligning goals—showing why something matters to them, not just the project. Small wins, genuine appreciation, and transparent communication often turn influence into collaboration. Saving Changes...
Program Manager| HARPER SRLSanto Domingo / Distrito Nacional, Dominican Republic
I’ve learned that influence more than convincing; it’s about connecting. When people see you understand their priorities, trust your competence, and respect their constraints, they’re more open to collaboration. I also try to influence through value: showing how alignment benefits everyone, not just the project. Sometimes, the most effective influence it’s consistent follow-through that earns quiet authority over time. Saving Changes...
Luis BrancoCEO| Business Insight, Consultores de Gestão, LdªCarcavelos, Lisboa, Portugal
Excellent reflection and a valuable reminder that influence is not a shortcut for control, but a discipline of conscious exchange.
Real influence grows where empathy meets clarity: understanding what others value, connecting it to a shared purpose, and creating mutual benefit without losing accountability.
It’s a balance between being a partner in trust and a guardian of results.
In high-pressure environments, it’s easy to fall back on command.
But sustainable influence requires patience, the slow work of building credibility, consistency, and psychological safety so that commitment flows naturally, not by force.
True leadership doesn’t trade authority for harmony; it transforms power into relationship and responsibility into shared purpose.
Influence, at its best, is the quiet architecture of trust that makes collaboration possible.
Saving Changes...
Rachel SmithClinical Informatics Manager| Alivia Care IncSt Augustine, Fl, United States
Influence in my world is about driving meaningful organizational change. People don’t resist change; they resist feeling unseen in it. When teams understand the “why,” see their voice reflected in the “how,” and feel supported through uncertainty, they move from compliance to commitment. Influence begins with trust, clarity, and curiosity. It’s listening more than directing, translating strategy into meaning, and creating safe spaces for experimentation. When leaders model openness, celebrate small wins, and remove barriers instead of adding pressure, teams shift from survival mode to a thrive mindset—where innovation, ownership, and adoption naturally follow. Change endures when people feel part of the story, not subject to it. Saving Changes...
Influence, to me, is about inspiring transformation through connection, not control. True change happens when people feel valued, informed, and empowered — not managed. Resistance rarely comes from the change itself, but from the fear of being left behind by it. When teams understand the purpose behind every decision, and their voices shape the process, they move beyond participation to genuine ownership. Influence starts with empathy, transparency, and active listening — turning vision into shared meaning. Leaders who ask before they answer, who coach instead of command, and who celebrate learning as much as success, create cultures that adapt naturally. In such environments, creativity thrives, collaboration deepens, and progress becomes personal. Sustainable change isn’t imposed — it’s co-created. People commit to what they help build, and that’s where lasting influence lives. Saving Changes...
If you focus on building a positive, two-way relationship with a stakeholder, influence becomes a beneficial outcome. If the focus is on influencing first, the relationship will suffer.
Kiron
Kiron Bondale while I don't think we disagree on the results, I would say that I don't think you can have influence without relationships - it's part of the definition. Without at least some rapport, it stops being influence and falls somewhere in the territory of manipulation, coercion, or persuasion. Focusing on influence, first, would imply relationship building was part of the equation. Saving Changes...
🎯 Keys to influencing without authority • Empathy first: Understand others' priorities and emotions. • Consistent credibility: Be consistent, clear, and reliable. • Communicate in their language: Align your message with their interests and values. • Tell stories: Use narratives that connect with what matters. • Ask questions, don't impose: Invite collaboration. • Be the example: Model the behavior you want to see. • Connect informal networks: Identify allies and multipliers of influence. • Give public recognition: Recognition strengthens relationships and commitment.
Fabian Crosa, Great points! Two that stand out the most, to me, are:
1) Align your message with their interests and values 2) ...connect with what matters Saving Changes...
Product Operations Program ManagerBarcelona, Cataluña, Spain
Someone once said that people will forget what you said but now how you made them feel. In order to influence, it is essential to create trust and irradiate integrity. Saving Changes...
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