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Emotional Intelligence 1.0 by Travis Bradberry et al explains
1) Self Awareness
Knowing your inner feelings , respecting and recognizing them
2) Self Management
Learn to regulate and manage yourself in challenging project environments
3) Social Awareness
awareness of your surroundings and who you are dealing with in projects. empathy and understanding
4) Relationship Management
Building a relationship with project team and influencing them to do work
It is natural to have emotional connection with your project because you are striving for success.
You are delivering the project to fulfill a business need at the same time as you are doing it for a sense of purpose, challenge, gratification , fulfillment , wages.
Look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs. You are firstly satisfying your physiological needs for survival and food , then you are fulfilling your need for security , warmth. Then you are trying for social recognition and finally for esteem and realizing your full potential as a professional .
People in your project team have their day jobs. It's not that they cannot work without you being in the picture
But you have been tasked with a temporary endeavor to deliver a unique product, service or result that will use their expertise. But you need to tell them how they can contribute effectively towards your endeavor.
You have a responsibility of delivering a successful project and motivating others to help you deliver it successfully.
You need to look at what motivates them to deliver on your project . look at organization theory . Look at the hierarchy of needs. Look at Herzberg's Hygiene theory.
Think of yourself as the conductor of an orchestra. The people in the orchestra can play a musical instrument without you showing them how to . But if you want them to play a particular tune in a way that "Sounds" good to the sponsor, you have to give them an incentive to play it.
