A Surpising Bad Assumption Interfering With Communications

 

Does having experience working with your team improve communications among the individuals in your team? What do you think?

Kenneth Savitsky conducted research on this question - that should have an obvious answer - and ended up with a surprise. He found that there is not that much difference in ability to understand close family members and friends over strangers. And our assumptions to the contrary cause problems.

In his experiments, he brought in groups of couples. Some were married and some were strangers. Participants generally predicted that they would communicate easier with those close to them. But Savitsky found that miscommunication was equal when they were put to the test.

The problem that you care about is this:  when people who are closer do something new, they overestimate how their closeness will help them communicate in the new situation.

So in project management, if your team starts a project that has many new elements, you all may overestimate your ability to communicate and there will be situations, for instance, where a team member may go off and do something that a team mate did not want.

Another example situation:  You know people pretty well before going into a project together for the first time. You all overestimate how your friendship will help you communicate in this project work.  Later, problems arise as a team mate is completing a task incorrectly under the assumption she understood a conversation with her friends on the project team. Not even the other team mates agree what was decided at that routine meeting. This was supposed to be easy! Why are the friends now in frustrated conflict?

Imagine the awkwardness.

So if you thought that you can communicate better with someone you are closer to or have more of a history with, your expectations are wrong. And this incorrect assumption can get you into trouble.

Take the proper steps in two situations:  when you are trying to be understood and when you are trying to understand what

Avoid the assumption that you are being understood:

• Be alert in all communications for miscommunications
• Give positive examples and incorrect examples when communicating something rather complex or new.
• Create meeting notes for all meetings and request review and comment.
• Use email rather than phone communications to get specifics documented.
• Consider using a face-to-face meeting or phone conversation to get a team started on a new topic or task. This will help you understand tone and body language.

Avoid the assumption that you understand:

• Think about how you can be misinterpreting what is being said by a friend on the project. Ask questions to clarify
• Listen as if a speaker you have worked with for a while is someone you don't know well.
• Repeat what you heard back to someone immediately after you heard it.
• Re-state action items or let people approve of your wording in written notes to follow. (This helps handle those situations where you have questions after the conversation is over.)

Your team depends on you to ensure communication is good. Your project success depends on good communication.

Get a PDF of the study here if you like scientific detail.