My Kitchen Project

 

This isn't about a renovation and contractors who won't show up and insufficient tile resources or anything like that. This is about the very unwanted project that started in my kitchen about a week ago...I don't know what the objectives are, but it seems to be moving quickly and based on the quick and efficient response to change, I'm pretty sure they're using some Agile methodology. 

I'm talking about ants.

The project team gathers for the morning stand-up.

I actually saw something on Animal Planet or Science Channel or something like that (my 8-year-old and I generally agree on that kind of programming) about ants recently. Fascinating how quickly and completely they organize themselves toward a common goal. I swear, I'm hiring army ants the next time I have to move...

The teamwork and efficiency of ants is legendary. I think we played around with "gantthill" as a name for some bustling, organizing center of this site at one point (I have a terrible weakness for puns). What struck me was how easily the little buggers adapted to my attempts to thwart them in their

 mission (whatever it is). Like the stereotypical clueless stakeholder, I threw everything I could think of in their way...

Corn meal was supposed to give them a false sense of accomplishment so they might close the project before it was really complete.

Cinnamon was supposed to discourage them with an environment too unpleasant to continue. 

The poison bait was supposed to bring bad news back to the powers that be, destroying the project by essentially cutting off funding, or at least killing off their myrmecine resources.

As it turns out, those ants were too organized and too dedicated to their task for my feeble attempts. They switched routes, times of day, spot of entry, number of scouts and foragers...it was inspiring.

Until I blasted them with Raid.

Sometimes even the best managed projects with the most talented, dedicated teams still fail for reasons that are just beyond anyone's control.