The Case Of The Mutant (strikethrough) Hybrid Management System

 

On most dark and stormy nights like this one, I would be sitting at my desk and looking at the letters stenciled on my frosted glass door, ylnatS yrrebpsaR, etavirP evitceteD, being one of only a few Project Management-oriented private investigators. But on this night I was in disguise, attending a high-level meeting of a panel of Project Management “experts.” They were completing the final draft of a guidance document intended to provide the structure for a so-called hybrid PM system for projects that didn’t really match the Agile/Scrum model, and sought to retain appropriate elements of traditional PM. Even though this meeting was being held in a typical convention center/hotel ballroom, well-lit and no armed guards, I had a sneaking suspicion that Monolithic Corporation was behind it. If there was a way to subvert proper PM techniques and approaches AND get the sub-standard version adopted by the PM community at large, Monolithic would find it, and this little comfab had all the markings of just such an initiative. However, my investigation was almost derailed before it had even started.

“Hi! My name is Jane, and I’m the president of the Division of Quantitative Governance. I don’t remember seeing you at these kinds of events” a woman dressed in a pant suit blurted. She took a moment to stare at my nametag. “Who do you work for, Andy …Strawberry?” She suppressed a snicker.

I was aware that, at one time, DQG was a significant player among the management-oriented professional societies, but had steadily lost membership. Jane seemed to attend all these seminars and symposiums, and, if she recognized me, I would be in trouble.

“I’m an independent consultant” I replied, which was technically true. “I have only a few clients, but they would be interested in whatever comes out of this meeting if it’s going to influence future guidance or requirements on how IT projects should be managed.”

“Oh, it’s going to influence it, all right” she exclaimed, apparently satisfied with my cover story. She continued, “Even now several large corporations are involved, ready to adapt whatever the writing committee recommends for combining these two types of systems.”

“Like a mutation?” I asked.

“It’s NOT a mutation, it’s a HYBRID!” she stormed.

“Whatever.”

Jane watched as I strolled over to the room’s tables, where the actual writers were hunkered down over their laptops, papers strewn about. There were several tall projection screens towards the front of the room, displaying the text under review at the moment, which happened to address change control. One of the writers appeared to not be engaged with the other “experts,” so I approached her.

“Hi!”

“Hi yourself.”

“Did you have any participation in that portion of the guidance?” I asked, gesturing towards the screen on the left.

“Maybe.”

“I was wondering if you would be kind enough to fill in a little bit of detail. The text appears to be using the terms ‘sprint,’ ‘epic,’ ‘Work Package,’ and ‘Control Account’ interchangeably. Are y’all asserting that sprints are to epics what Work Packages are to Control Accounts?”

“George!” she called out to one of the conversant groups. “Get over here, we have an inquisitive one.”

George strode up to me, dressed in a suit and holding a brandy snifter in one hand, and a cigar in the other. He was a large man, clearly not to be trifled with.

“Hello. Do you have a question for the expert committee?”

“Not necessarily. I was just reading the text on the screen on the left, and it appears to use some Agile/Scrum and traditional PM terms interchangeably in your mutant system.”

“It’s a HYBRID, not a mutant. And, so what?”

“Whatever. Unless you clearly define which Work Breakdown Structure elements ought to be covered by an Agile approach, and which shouldn’t, then the whole change control effort is in danger of being applied unevenly.”

George took a long pull on his cigar, and blew it towards me. Not exactly in my face, but not really trying to avoid it, either.

“The expert committee believes that the synergy created by leveraging these two methods into one, coherent model, will drive economies of scale and quality can be achieved.”

The word salad was an instant tip-off that this “expert” committee was in the process of influencing PM community standards in such a way as to justify an avoidance of doing formal aspects of project change control by invoking Agile/Scrum terminology, and drowning any dissent in a river of cross-discipline jargon. At this moment Jane walked up.

“I couldn’t help but overhear your question” she began. “That’s really an interesting perspective. Have you presented any papers at any of these PM seminars or symposiums?”

Concerned that my cover was about to be blown, I initiated a retreat.

“Thank you for your answer, George. I understand perfectly. But, hey, look at the time. I need to excuse myself.”

In contrast with the number of times I had to sprint for my car to make a dashing getaway from Monolithic employees, this time I casually strode to the exit, made my way to my car, and drove away. Either Monolithic doesn’t have the reach or power I thought they did, or my disguise held, since it appears Monolithic has made no attempt to prevent me from posting this rep