Designing The PMI® Correctional Program

I’m convinced that the one of the reasons that the Asset Managers’ business model theories dominate the management sciences domain is due in large part to the fact that, if a business doesn’t strictly abide by Generally Accepted Accounting Principles (GAAP), they’re almost certainly breaking some law. Tax revenues are heavily dependent on organizations maintaining their accounting systems properly, and governments generally don’t tolerate being cheated out of their tax revenue. This being the case, when governments do become aware that some organization isn’t complying with GAAP, those responsible, after the machinations of that country’s legal system complete their processes, will often be fined, or even sent to jail. Now, compare and contrast that outcome with the expected consequence of a Project Management Office Director, or even specific Project Managers, who routinely flout the most basic of PM techniques and guidance: they may be subjected to excessive tut-tutting by self-identifying Subject Matter Experts.
Of course, we PM-types know that, at some point, such PMBOK®-eschewing scofflaws will see their project portfolios perform worse and worse, eventually encountering large-scale overruns and delays. But in a business environment where an estimated 70% of all projects fail[i], being the PM of one of those doesn’t carry nearly the avoid-at-all-cost weight as potentially going to jail. What’s the world’s leading Project Management-facilitating organization to do in this situation?
I have a radical idea: ratchet up the punishment for flagrantly disregarding foundational Project Management theory and practices. Not anything as drastic as fines or jail time, but more than the current consequences, the aforementioned tut-tutting.
First, let’s delineate which PM “crimes” will qualify for these repercussions. Some of the more egregious ones that pop into my mind include:
·Claiming zero Variance at Completion (VAC) when your Project is over 80% complete, and your cumulative Cost Performance Index (CPI) is below 0.75.
·Submitting a “get well” Baseline Change Proposal for the ensuing overrun.
·Trying to put clear Organizational Breakdown Structure elements into the Work Breakdown Structure (WBS).
·Claiming the Level of Effort (LOE) method for collecting Earned Value for over half of your Project’s Work Packages when Weighted Milestone and Direct Units are more appropriate.
·Tolerating your organization’s accounting system not collecting actual costs by WBS elements at the reporting level.
I’m sure GTIM Nation can come up with many more, but you get the gist. Once found guilty of these infractions, what, precisely, should be the punishment? This is where the pilot PMI® Correctional Program comes in! This Program should be designed to compel the guilty parties to attend certain “training sessions.” Coburg Banks, a multi-sector recruitment agency in the UK, published a list of “The Most Ridiculous Corporate Training Sessions Ever Created[ii],” and I think we should use two of them. These sessions can be made to be conditions for retaining one’s PMI® credential, and include the following titles:
·The “Emotional Intelligence Mime Workshop[iii].” A few hours in the same room with a person in suspenders and wearing clown white makeup alone would be difficult, even without the flailing movements attempting to convey management insights.
·“The Corporate Karaoke Icebreaker[iv]”. But, since we’re seeking to punish with only a thin veneer of presenting legitimate training, the singer’s voices should sound like a combination of George C. Scott and Jabba the Hut as they put the PMBOK Guide® to music.
·One of my very own is “Leaning In To The Synergy Of Agile PM.” This “training” session will have every single slide in the deck chock-full of clichéd jargon, printed in a font that precludes readability from even those seated near the front of the room. The presenter, equipped with a laser pointer aimed at every single word as it is being read, will recite the contents of these slides, verbatim, in a droning monologue.
At the end of the day of having to endure these sessions, the manager being punished trainee will be required to pass a quiz to demonstrate what has been “learned,” but even here the punishment doesn’t end. The quiz will be comprised of questions and specific tasks, so:
·Circling back to the issue of the “boiling the ocean” approach, how would you leverage your Project Team’s emotional intelligence to attain this noble goal? Your answer should be no fewer than 1,000 words.
·Take a blank piece of paper, and fold it into an origami swan that clearly conveys the distinction between Asset, Project, and Strategic Management. Name this swan “Fred.”
·Take Fred to your organization’s badge office, and make the case that it should be given an identification/building access badge. If anyone objects, accuse them of not respecting neither yours nor Fred’s “learned truth.”
For those instances where the “trainee” catches on that he is being subjected to an elaborate punishment rather than a legitimate training program, be prepared for the challenge “I don’t think this program is legit. There’s no managerial insight to be had by creating an origami swan, and I think you instructors are trying to hide what’s really going on here.” Reply simply “Trying to hide what’s really going on? As in claiming zero Variance at Completion with a CPI of 0.75?”


[i] Retrieved from https://www.mosaicapp.com/post/project-failure-rates-causes-statistics-every-pm-should-know on March 10, 2026, 20:31 MDT.
[ii] Retrieved from https://www.coburgbanks.co.uk/blog/the-most-ridiculous-corporate-training-sessions-ever-created on March 10, 2026, 20:59 MDT.
[iii] Ibid.
[iv] Ibid.