The Pragmatic Project Manager

Influence is a critical skill for project managers, but it can be difficult to change someone's perspective, especially when opinions are rooted in emotions and group affiliations rather than facts. As social creatures, humans have an instinctual need to belong and be accepted by others, and going against the community can be perceived as dangerous and lead to exclusion. As a project manager, it's important to recognize these dynamics and approach influence with empathy and understanding. 

That being said, here are three ideas to change someone’s belief system without alienating them:

1. Be kind first and right later. When you’re arguing with someone, remember that the goal is to connect, collaborate, and integrate them into our tribe, not to win. So be kind and listen to their perspective. It’s easy to get caught up in wanting to look good and win the argument, but that won’t help you build relationships.
2. Remember that facts don’t change minds, but friendships do. When someone changes their beliefs, they’re changing their tribe. So, it’s crucial to give them a place to belong to and a community to be a part of. You can’t expect someone to change their mind if they’re afraid of losing their social ties.
3. Find common ground. Identify what you and the other person agree on and start there. By focusing on shared values, you can create a sense of commonality and make it easier to work towards a common goal.

Changing someone’s belief system isn’t easy, but it’s not impossible. By being kind, building friendships, and finding common ground, you can create a safe and supportive environment that encourages mutual understanding and collaboration.