I hate the phrase "being on the same page". Nothing wrong with the sentence itself. It's me. My associations with it. I actually hear: "you need to agree with my point of view".
Same thing with "thinking out of the box". The people who use it, wouldn't even recognize a box when it was dressed up as a parrot and danced in front of them. Or, as elegantly described by Penelope Trunk:
"The reason telling someone to “think out of the box” is so stupid is because it really means “I hate all your ideas” or “I can’t think out of the box myself, so I need you to.” In any case, it’s lame to say."
This is a problem as two of the main topics about project management for me are "being on the same page" and "thinking out of the box". Irony. I know.
So I need other phrases that describe what I mean, without having the creepy associations. Clean, uncontaminated words that aren't polluted yet by people that aren't as sensitive to words as I am.
"Hanging around the same water cooler".
This could do the trick. Essential to projects is that everyone has the same idea about what "done" looks like. Or which approach is being taken. A conversation about that could go like:
"Did you read me memo about the vision I have for this company?"
"Yeah man. We hang around the same water cooler on this topic."
Or. If you smoke cigarettes. "We hang around the same smoking area!"
The essence is that it is something you would go to yourself. Without an outside push. Something that isn't forced upon you. So the smoking area is probably not for everyone. And you might stay away from places you might be too keen on going. Like a bar.
Anyway. It is the opposite of being chained to the fence of a nuclear waste disposal facility.
Statements like "We have a culture dedicated to 100% guaranteed deliveries being resilient towards disturbances caused by external conditions." and "I add value to my customers so they can do the best work they ever did, even without them being good at what it is they do.” are my personal nuclear waste disposal facilities.
Although. I actually wrote a 5 nanosecond pitch for myself: "As The Project Shrink I help people find ways to enjoy the diversity of human interaction in their projects and organizations so that they can get out of their own way and achieve their goals." I need to say it out loud with an Italian accent. See. Making progress.
So. Places you actually want to go to.
Do you remember the plastic palm tree?
"… you bring a huge palm tree to put on your desk. Nothing brightens up a place like a little bit of tropical green. … People will gather under the palm tree. Give you compliments. Provide you with tips on how the harvest those coconuts. Someone will bring a hammock. It will become a hangout and topic of conversation."
Now, who wouldn't be happy to sit under a palm tree? Even if it is made of plastic and smells like, well, plastic.
A short YouTube search actually provided me with the best phrase ever. It's the title of a Bobby Boogaloo song. "Kicking it back under the coconut tree."
"Did you read my 300 page document that described every freaking little detail about how I think we should iritate the crap out of each other the next couple of months?"
"Yeah man. We are kicking it back under the same coconut tree!"
Totally different ring to it.
And actually having the tree around your office would make it even more awesome. Until, of course, some nitwits come around and steal your phrase and use it for some of their meetings of doom.
"Please come around and kick it back under our 36 hour coconut tree. From hell."
But for them nitwits you should have an empty box dressed up like a parrot on your desk. Point to the box and ask "Do you know what that is?"
If they don't recognize it is a box, you know enough.
Bas de Baar is a writer who draws about people in transition. He loves to make visual maps and travel guides for the collaborators of our brave new world.
