"I cannot tell a lie..."
From the Strategic Project Management Blog
by Ty Kiisel
I don't think they tell this story in school anymore. I think it's been debunked as a fabrication. That being said, I grew up learning that George Washington was honest. So honest in fact that as a boy he received a new ax and promptly cut down his father's cherry tree.
When asked about what happened to the tree, the young George said, "I cannot tell a lie. I cut down the cherry tree."
An icon of virtue for my young mind. True or not, for me, President Washington's image remains intact.
I once worked with a manager who always said whatever it was he thought you wanted to hear. At first, since it was what you wanted to hear, it was easy to feel pretty good about things. However, that didn't last very long. Soon (just like everyone else) I figured out that I couldn't trust anything he ever said. The same was true about what he said to the boss. He eventually got fired.
If your colleagues, team members and even the boss can't trust what you say, you might as well start cleaning out your desk right now. Of course, everyone likes to hear that things are all peachy-keen, but only if they are.
I learned early in my career that honesty is always the best policy. Even if the news is bad, hitting bad news straight on is always better than fudging the truth and hoping for the best. That's not to say it's aways pleasant. It isn't.
What's more, when the team sees you spin the truth to the boss, they assume you're doing the same thing to them—and they're probably right.
Posted on: September 15, 2011 12:42 PM |
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Comments (13)
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Telling lies to cover certain matters up or even some may refer to them as telling white lies whatever that means! it is being dishonest. There are some personal instances when a spouse, siblings can be dishonest if asked a question so they tell a lie as not to hurt feelings; in our professional environment being dishonest covering up issues by not being totally open and honest will damage professional reputations and even careers as trust will go out of the window. The question I would raise is why do some people feel they need to lie in the first place!
Wai Mun Koo
PMO Director| Intergraph PP&M
Singapore, Singapore
Vasoula,
To answer your question, I am not looking at it from a professional perspective. Sometimes, people will weigh the impact and damage done to others on a grander level to decide if they have to tell the truth or to tell a lie. In some situations, telling a lie also may help them to buy time and allow them to focus to resolve the problems at hands instead of being distracted to pacify the people who have learned to truth.
It is not easy to judge which is the right way. Sometimes, it takes a lot more courage to tell a lie than to tell the truth. Like what you have pointed out, this may ruin the reputation of the person who told the lie. However, people may still continue to do so despite that they are aware of the consequence and they do it for the benefits of others and not so much of their own reputation (this excludes the typical salesman :0 ).
Ty Kiisel
Manager Social Outreach| AtTask
Lehi, Ut, United States
I learned the hard way early in my career that covering bad news with a "spin" or even a lie can blow up in your face. Outside of work, there are times when my wife will ask me, "Do you like this dress?" or "Did you like what I made for dinner?" and I'm not entirely truthful. I fudge to avoid hurting feelings.
That being said, covering up problems we don't want to face or avoiding the truth because it's bad news, isn't a good idea within the project team. As the execution arm of strategy, problems with projects need to be addressed (and the earlier the better).
When we lie, it always catches up to us. And yes, I did say always. People figure it out and personal credibility is damaged. Keep it up, and before too long, nobody will trust anything said and our effectiveness as a project leader is diminished or becomes non-existant.
"Does this make me look fat?" might be a question that I don't give a truthful answer to, but it's not a good idea to spin the truth when talking about work and projects.
Wai Mun Koo
PMO Director| Intergraph PP&M
Singapore, Singapore
Well, there are good lies that will help a lot of people and bad lies that will harm a lot of people. There are also lies that are just for fun and harmless. Should we look at telling lies like how we evaluate risk? That is,
Impact: The absolute impact of telling the lie vs. not telling the lie.
Occurence: How many times you have to tell the same lie (assuming the more times you tell the more likelihood you will be caught).
Detectability: How easily the lie can be detected.
I am just throwing some wild thoughts here.
My thinking is similar to Ty. I feel that when lies are told in the workplace it solves nothing, it creates more confusion and inevitably the truth always comes out, then what! the best policy is to be up front with everything, tell it as it is, people will not point a finger at you!.. on the contrary brain storm the issues with your team and stakeholders if necessary be honest there is always a solution with much credibility. Lie is a lie like Ty said eventually no one will take you seriously.
At home is a little different, when I am away abroad on my return my husband asks 'did you have a good time whilst away' my answer of course is always same 'without you never!' that is acceptable no need to be totally honest in this instance! no harm done.
As a truthful person I believe in transparent communications even at home. I find it difficult to understand how lying to your partner at home is acceptable but not at work. Surely the trust there is of greater importance to you? A relationship based on lies is not sound. It is often how you give the truth that is key to the recipient receiving the message, both at home and work.
For example if Vasoula did have a have a good time whilst away from home why not say so and then add but "it would have been better with you there" or "I really enjoyed it but I'm afraid if you had been there, you would have been bored out of your brain so I am glad I didn't inflict that on you".
Similarly at work, if you have an issue you are working through, don't say everything is OK when it is not. Tell people that you have an issue and that you expect a solution, that they may be asked to help, etc etc. You don't have to become chicken little saying the "Sky is falling", a competent professional approach with plans in place to address the issue is always more reassuring to management than lying and saying all is OK to buy time. When they find out (and they will) that you were dealing with an issue and had not informed them this will erode their belief in what you say and you might find yourself being closely questioned every time in order to reassure themselves that what you are saying is correct, or even going to other members of the project to confirm your message.
Hi Julie
Agree with your comments re work etc... definitely thats the way to do things.. had a smile on my face when you mentioned my example as we dont tell lies at home either, but yes there is a but in personal circumstances sometimes we have to weigh things as we know our own spouse better than anybody else right! whether I had a good time or not its irrelevant it is how our answers will be perceived and analysed by a spouse... my answer was actually the truth! regards, Vasoula
I'm reading a lot of theoretical black-and-white stuff here, and living in the real world, I find it hard to relate to. This isn't just about personal vs professional, this is about the office and the fact that office politics are as much a reality as any other factor in project management. Thinking that you can get away with saying "I'll never lie in my entire [professional] life" just doesn't cut it.
I've had to sit face-to-face with colleagues, look into their eyes, and tell them without blinking something that I *knew* was a lie - because that's what my management had tasked me to do. We can debate about the validity of their reasons all we want, but that's not the point. It just happened that somehow, a part of my job was to communicate something that wasn't the truth.
And I also ended up quitting a job for telling the truth - something that didn't mix well with the politics of the place I was working at at the time.
Anyway, I'm just saying, it's not an easy, black-and-white issue. There are plenty of shades of gray to consider.
Ty Kiisel
Manager Social Outreach| AtTask
Lehi, Ut, United States
Wow. Great comments. I think it''''s safe to say that there are times when people have to make compromises. I choose not to lie for my boss. I have never been forced to "sit face-to-face with colleagues, look into their eyes, and tell them without blinking something that ''''I knew'''' was a lie—because that''''s what my management had tasked me to do," so I can''''t speak to that with experience.
Honest communication about project status, performance and other work issues is a critical part of creating a healthy work environment. A team environment that is built on honest and transparent communication builds trust and provides decision-makers the information they really need to make decisions. A complaint I often hear when I talk to senior-level project professionals around the country is "I can''''t trust the data I get from my project team." I''''m sure that sometimes it might be because the way it''''s captured is flawed, but sometimes it''''s a matter of trust. Maybe they even know they are being lied to. If they expect the project manager to lie to the team, they are getting what they deserve. Regardless, the information they are making decisions with is inaccurate and will ultimately lead to poor decisions.
It may not be an "easy" black-and-white issue, but it is definitely a black-and-white issue.
@ Julien - I would never ever allow management to put me in a position where I would lie to other people on their behalf no money in the world would make me do that to my colleagues, and you know something I would tell them straight up front they can do their own deceiving dirty work - once the truth comes out and it always does one way or another once the workforce loose faith and trust in their management things tend to go down hill after that.. luck has it that I was never asked to lie about anything but if I was asked to lie to staff or colleagues I would categorically refuse point blank and I would reconsider whether I would want to work for such a dishonest organisation - I tell it as it is if they dont like it too bad!
@Ty - I agree too, and yet there are some people out there that will do anything to please yes please management or their boss by telling lies to cover up certain issues - a good Project Manager who is responsible, has taken accountability for the management and deliverance of the project will be honest all the way, there are bound to be highs and lows it is not about success all the time, it is about resolving issues the best possible way that will fulfill project management requirements and expectations, these need to be managed and discussed if the project runs into problems, it is not about brushing issues under the carpet neither pretending everything is OK - it takes a strong, confident Project Manager that can not only manage the teams, resources also the Stakeholders with power to jeorpadise the project, these people need to be managed too, my motto is always know your facts, always state facts and do not deviate from the truth, you are then standing with both feet on solid ground!
 | joliver06 |
Being from Canada, and one who watches Dragon's Den, the Lang O'Leary exchange - try reading Kevin O'Leary's new book. It will give everyone a new perspective in business overall on why it 'pays' not to lie. For me, it's just ethical behaviour and protects the interests of everyone. It is of course all in the way you have the dialogue with those concerned.
Sam Motes
Manager II Business Sys, Operational Excellence| BA Systems Inc.
Ellenton, Fl, United States
It is far easier to tell the truth than try to remember what the twisted trail of lies you told was. There is a difference though between being truthful and being brutaly honest wtih no respect for people''s feelings. Honesty ranks at the top of almost every poll taken of the traits people look for in their leaders.
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