Simply Say, "Thank You."

 

I have to thank my friends Elizabeth Harrin and Geoff Crane for bringing up this topic—I'm just a little late to the party talking about it. I have to admit that I'd never heard of imposter syndrome (unlike Elizabeth and Geoff I was old enough to remember 1978, when clinical psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes coined the phrase), but like everyone else in the room, I have had to deal with this from time to time.

Have you ever experienced a great success, but when a colleague offers congratulations you make some self-deprecating remark about how it wasn't really anything important or anyone could have done it? I know I have. That's what imposter syndrome looks like. It's a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to internalize their accomplishments. Highly-skilled and talented people often dismiss success as luck or timing, often thinking that others more capable than themselves will eventually discover them to be the fraud they believe themselves to be.

I'm sure that most of us grew up with parents or others who suggested that it wasn't a good idea to "blow your own horn." This was certainly the way I was brought up. I think it's pretty natural to feel a little self-conscious when someone compliments a success.

However, you may be surprised to know that you have a tremendous amount of expertise that you take for granted. I often find myself explaining something or answering a question that I have long felt everyone understands only to observe that everyone didn't. I minimized my expertise—and almost apologized for it. Although this might have saved me from tooting my own horn, this kind of behavior could potentially have a detrimental effect on our careers and our ability to effectively lead a project team.

P.T. Barnum famously said, "Without promotion something terrible happens. Nothing."

I'm not suggesting that we should always be out shouting our accomplishments to the rooftops, but when a colleague approaches and offers some congratulations for a particular accomplishment, a simple "Thank you" is probably in order. No excuses. No self-deprecating comment. Simply, "Thank you."

What's more, there are times when a leader needs the confidence of those who follow to effectively lead. If the leader is regularly making comments that imply that he or she doesn't really have confidence in his or herself, it doesn't inspire confidence among those who need to follow.

The famous football coach of the Green Bay Packers once said, "Confidence is contagious. So is the lack of confidence."

Elizabeth's article referred to above offers 10 tips to overcome imposter syndrome. It's worth reading. Geoff's video also includes a suggestion or two regarding how to deal with imposter syndrome and feelings of inadequacy. We all go through it. "Roll with it," says Elizabeth, "it's not just you."