Project Management

Project Management Humor

From the PMO Bytes Blog
by
The world of project management through the monocles of culture, design, business, technology, politics, social, education, philosophy and music.

About this Blog

RSS

Recent Posts

Dog and Pony Show

Risky Business of Einstein

Hello Heisenberg!

Be A Good Patient

The Missing Piece

Categories

Business, Culture, Design, Education, General, Music, Philosophy, Politics, Technology

Date


Categories: General


Project managers work hard all day in their projects and usually do not have much time for fun. But, this does not mean that they are lack of humor. Below is a list of project management humor that I have curated from various sources and a couple of my own creations. Take a break. Have a good laugh!

  1. Any task, no matter how complex, can be estimated accurately, once it's completed.
  2. What is the favorite line that the project manager likes to say to the sponsor? - "You jump, I jump".
  3. You can bully a project manager into committing to an impossible project completion date, but you cannot bully him into meeting it.
  4. Why do project managers wear Nike but sponsors prefer Adidas? - The answer is in the slogans, Nike: "Just Do It", Adidas: "Impossible is nothing".
  5. Too few people on a project can't solve the problems - too many create more problems than they solve.
  6. A change freeze is like the abominable snowman: it is a myth and would anyway melt when heat is applied.
  7. A user is somebody who tells you what they really want the day you give them what they first asked for.
  8. Project manager is, in a way, like Pinocchio except that the project manager’s project gets longer for each lie he or she tells.
  9. There's never enough time to do it right first time, but there's always enough time to go back and do it again.
  10. Prioritization is the best abused trick to say ‘No’.
  11. I know that you believe that you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
  12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
  13. If you fail to plan the project, you are planning to fail the project.
  14. What goes up but never comes down (besides our age)? – The number of issues in a project.
  15. The sooner you fall behind the project schedule, the more time you have to make it up.
  16. PMO means different thing to different people. To the users it means 'Piss Me Off'; and to the project managers it means 'Pimp Me Off'.
  17. What is another name for Steering Committee? - "Staring Committee". Well, some really just stare at the projects and hardly doing anything.
  18. What is the most common item that pops up in lessons learned meeting? - "We need to remember to conduct lessons learned meeting".
  19. Putting an efficient system into a wrong process is just accelerating its failure.
  20. Everyone asks for a strong project manager – when they get them they don’t want them.
  21. The nice thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression.
  22. When everything runs well, you call it ‘Agile’. But when things start to break apart, you change the word to ‘Fragile’.
  23. The biggest risk in a project is, ironically, the project manager paying no attention to the risk management part of the project.
  24. Remember the lesson from the 'Three Little Pigs’ – cheap and fast never last.
  25. A project gets a year late one day at a time.
  26. I heard they said the lesson learned meeting is a good place to start the ‘Blamestorming’.
  27. Screw up once, it's a mistake. Twice, it's a process. Three times, it's policy.
  28. Sponsors are like diapers - they need to be changed often, and for the same reason.
  29. Project Management is like a STD - a short moment of fun followed by pain and a long time of regret.

Feel free to share yours and I will add on the list…

Posted on: September 25, 2012 06:00 AM | Permalink

Comments (10)

Please login or join to subscribe to this item
avatar
Julien Rebillard IS PMO| Arkadin Paris, France
Screw up once, it's a mistake. Twice, it's a process. Three times, it's policy.

Sponsors are like diapers - they need to be changed often, and for the same reason.

avatar
Wai Mun Koo PMO Director| Intergraph PP&M Singapore, Singapore
Nice one. I like the diapers metaphor... fit so well...

avatar
Julien Rebillard IS PMO| Arkadin Paris, France
Project Management is like a STD - a short moment of fun followed by pain and a long time of regret.

avatar
Wai Mun Koo PMO Director| Intergraph PP&M Singapore, Singapore
This is ahem... naughty...

avatar
Wai Mun Koo PMO Director| Intergraph PP&M Singapore, Singapore
Here is another one - I heard they said the lesson learned meeting is a good place to start the ‘Blamestorming’.

Dhan
Project team can be interesting group of people, wherein project manager promises customer "Don't worry, we will deliver it. Nothing is impossible!!" and project team member tells project manager "same thing is just not possible for technical reasons!!"

avatar
Wayne Holley President| PMI San Diego Escondido, Ca, USA
Funny, but, sadly, true!

avatar
Ginen Dharamshi PM I| Aristo Realty Developer ltd Thane, Maharastra, India
Great work man...

avatar
Jose Roberto Cavalcante Alves PROJECT MANAGER| GEPLANUS studios Brazil
I have shared your post in Linkedin. Regards.

avatar
Tejas Sura Managing Director| Cubic Turnkey Private Limited Mumbai, Maharashtra, India
You can get more Humor on my LinkedIn Group 'Humor in Project Management'.

Please Login/Register to leave a comment.

ADVERTISEMENTS

"Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own laws."

- Douglas Adams

ADVERTISEMENT

Sponsors