Game Theory in Management Saves the Galaxy

 

In a previous blog I lamented the use of the literary device of portraying a given management theory in a fictionalized setting, where – wouldn’t you just know it – the theory being presented, when adhered to, leads to fabulous success for the story’s protagonists. This device is disingenuous to Cecil B. DeMille proportions, but there’s no denying it works. Heck, Eliyahu Goldratt used it in his book Critical Chain, and not only did the book do well, there’s actually a Goldratt Institute now, despite the tenuousness of the underlying theory. Of course, I did not take this approach in my recently-released, must-have book, Game Theory in Management (Gower Publishing, 2012), but there’s still an opportunity to fictionalize some of my points in this blog. “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” goes the cliché, so, with no further ado…

The air was thick with tension when Captain Rodgers strode onto the bridge of his starship, the Geetim (how my book’s title sounds when you speak the acronym – get it?). Several alien species had come together to form a consortium, the Pimbockers, and their warships had been devastating Confederation merchant convoys. The President himself had ordered Rodgers to take the Geetim to patrol those areas of the convoys’ routes where the most devastation had occurred.

“Status report!” Rodgers commanded.

“The main engines are functioning at 94% efficiency, even though two of the cooling coils are down” answered the engineer. “Also, at this rate of fuel consumption, we will have to save cargos totaling over five billion credits in order to achieve a positive return on investment on this mission.”

“Well, that’s interesting, I guess, but why would I want to know that?”

“We were taught at the Academy that a Captain’s main priority is his ship. I threw in the bit about how much cargo we have to save in order for us to know if and when the mission is successful.”

“Yeah, but right now I need to know where the Pimbockers’ raiding ships are.”

“Theoretically speaking, they’re all over the map” the tactical officer stated, flatly.

“No, I meant right now, where are they with respect to the convoy we’re escorting?” Rodgers clarified.

Just then the pretty personnel officer stepped onto the bridge.

“I can help you with your problem” she stated.

“Thank goodness!” Rodgers replied.

“You are under-represented in officers who are descendant from people who were originally from the Southern hemisphere of Mars. But, if you demote your navigator, and promote Lt. B’alayer, you will be fine.”

“That’s not the problem I needed help for.”

“A Captain’s top priority is supposed to be his crew!”

“Look, not to be obstinate” Rodgers began, “but the way I see it, my immediate problem is that I don’t know where the bad guys are in relation to the convoy we’re supposed to be protecting. And, since I’ve already asked for this information twice, I’d really appreciate it you all would stop telling me the sort of information I’m ‘supposed’ to want, and give me what I asked for.”

All of the bridge officers assumed expressions of shock, the personnel officer especially so.

“We don’t use the term ‘bad guys’ any longer, sir.”

“Why not?”

“We can’t presume to know our opponents’ motives, much less if they are good or evil.”

Rodgers sighed, and slumped into his command chair.

“The first bridge officer who tells me where the, yes, bad guys are, and what we can do about them, gets a promotion.”

A junior officer, manning a console in the corner of the bridge, activated the viewing screen and spoke up.

“Sir, if you will look past the blue blinking light indicating our position, and the cluster of white lights showing the convoy, you will see three red lights indicating the position of the Pimbockers. They are currently attacking the lead ship of the convoy, but they are within range of our weapons. Our main batteries are currently trained on them, and are only awaiting your order to begin firing.”

“Open fire!” Rodgers ordered.

A bluish-white particle beam leapt from the Geetim, ripping into the hulls of the Pimbockers’ ships. One was blown apart, and the other two limped off.

The bridge erupted into a shouting argument, about who had delivered the information that was most important to Rodgers’ victory. Amid the din, the Captain motioned for the junior officer to step over.

“What’s your name, Lieutenant? How did you know precisely what I needed?”

“My name’s not important sir.  I knew what you needed because of a two-hundred year-old book, Game Theory in Management, by Michael Hatfield. He explored the epistemology of management information systems, but dealt with the subject in such a way as to make his insights intuitive to lay management.”

“Interesting. Where can I buy this book?”

“It’s available at http://www.gowerpublishing.com/isbn/9781409442417, for a very reasonable price.”

And then, everyone was happy, and peace and joy returned to the galaxy.

The End.