My AI Writing Experiment, part 2

 

In Part 1, GenAI seemed to do a fair job of creating caricatures of project managers.  You may have heard or read similar feelings expressed about project managers from others.  Let's be honest, we've all had our moments where we weren't at our best, and not everyone that starts out in the field is a good fit for the job.  But, Part 2 is not about feeling good about ourselves, it's about feeling like we're better than someone else.  Let's see what our snarky AI has to say about executives and stakeholders.

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Alright, project managers, gather 'round! Today, we're diving into the mysterious world of executives and stakeholders—the elusive creatures that make your job so delightfully challenging. Think of them as the VIP guests at your never-ending project party, except they have very specific demands and absolutely no sense of humor.

First up, the "executives". These are the top brass, the big cheeses, the ones who think "strategy" is a magical word that makes everything possible. They're like wizards who cast spells of vision and mission statements, expecting you to turn their vague incantations into concrete results. Need a miracle? No problem! They’ll give you a two-week deadline and a budget that could barely buy a coffee machine. Their favorite pastime? Moving the goalposts just as you’re about to score.

Executives also have a unique talent for memory loss. They'll forget every single promise they made about support and resources, but they'll never forget the one typo you made in that quarterly report six months ago. And when things go sideways, expect them to disappear faster than a donut at an office meeting. But don’t worry, they’ll reappear just in time to take credit if by some miracle the project succeeds.

Now, let's talk about "stakeholders". These are the folks who think your project should revolve around their personal whims and preferences. They’re like a committee of toddlers—everyone wants their toy to be the shiniest, and if you don’t comply, expect a tantrum. They demand regular updates but glaze over the moment you dive into any real detail. They want to be involved in every decision, except the ones that require actual effort or accountability.

Stakeholders have a knack for changing their minds at the most inconvenient times. You could be halfway through a project when they suddenly decide they want everything in blue instead of red, or they need a feature you explicitly discussed and ruled out three months ago. And feedback? Oh, they love giving feedback—often conflicting, always vague, and usually when it's too late to make any changes without blowing up the timeline.

Let’s not forget the infamous "steering committee". This is where stakeholders and executives gather to make decisions—except nobody wants to take responsibility. It's like a game of hot potato, but with your project on the line. Decisions get delayed, priorities get shifted, and somehow, every meeting ends with you having more work and fewer answers.

So there you have it, project managers. Executives and stakeholders: the dream team of high expectations and low involvement. Navigating their whims and fancies is like trying to herd cats in a hurricane, but hey, that’s why you’re the magician, the juggler, the ultimate firefighter. Just remember, when the circus is in full swing, and you’re balancing a dozen flaming torches, someone, somewhere, will be cheering you on—probably from the comfort of their office, with a nice cup of coffee, wondering why you look so stressed.

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GenAI takes no prisoners.  Let's regroup in Part 3 where we'll discuss some ways to overcome misconceptions shared by those discussed in Parts 1 & 2.