Project Management

Active listening helps you become a better project manager

From the Easy in theory, difficult in practice Blog
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My musings on project management, project portfolio management and change management. I'm a firm believer that a pragmatic approach to organizational change that addresses process & technology, but primarily, people will maximize chances for success. This blog contains articles which I've previously written and published as well as new content.

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Two of the most frequently raised questions in online project management discussion groups are: “Is project management more science than art?” and “Which is more important to succeed in project management – hard or soft skills?”

The usual consensus with such questions is that while one cannot ignore the need to develop a solid foundation of hard skills (the “science”), the lack of soft skills (the “art”) will be a hurdle blocking the career progression for most project managers.

In the pantheon of soft skills, active listening is a powerful method of proving the authenticity of your interest in what someone is saying and feeling, both of which are critical to gaining trust.

Active listening embodies the name of my blog – easy in theory but not so in practice.

Our ability to focus on anything for more than a few seconds is impacted by a variety of distractions. Unhealthy levels of multitasking combined with the siren songs of smartphones, e-mail and other technology-driven “enablers” have made it too easy for our minds to drift even when we are sitting right across from someone. Our lack of focus becomes evident to the other party, and they tune out of the conversation.

How can we improve our ability to actively listen?

Set yourself up for success by minimizing the sources of distraction when holding important discussions. Book a meeting room instead of an open area. Mute and turn off the vibrate mode on your smartphone. If you are taking notes, don’t keep your screen up or your notebook open the whole time and exploit lulls in the conversation as your opportunity to document what you have heard.

Schedule discussions at a time when you are less likely to experience a wandering mind. Don’t book meetings back-to-back as you are more likely to spend the first few minutes of each meeting recalling the previous one, not to mention the stress of rushing from the last meeting.

Recognize when your mind is wandering and gently bring yourself back into the conversation. Exercises in improving mindfulness can help to increase your focus over a longer time.

Whether or not you believe that commonly quoted statistic of 93% of communication being non-verbal, I’m sure you will agree that accepting everything you hear as the truth is likely to get you into trouble. Active listening is your key to resolving issues, unlocking motivations, and understanding hidden agendas.

(Note: this article was originally written and published by me in November 2014 on my personal blog, kbondale.wordpress.com)


Posted on: April 28, 2018 07:00 AM | Permalink

Comments (20)

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Tamer Zeyad Sadiq Assistant Cost Manager| Turner & Townsend Riyadh, Ar Riyad, Saudi Arabia
Nice article Kiron and very importans!!!! Cummunication skills is the most important skill to increase project successful. Face to face meeting is the best method to solve in any issue and review WBS to ensure the project is a right way!!!!

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Sante Delle-Vergini, PhD Senior Project Manager| Infosys Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Thanks for the post Kiron. I recall when I had an interview with a major telco, the employer had the opportunity to take me into a quiet meeting room, or over to the busy cafe with tables virtually touching each other. Being the genius that he was, he opted for the cafe, and a third person joined in the meeting. I would say that it was an important discussion full of distractions. A complete failure of active listening, and dare I say it, a neglect of interview etiquette.

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Alexis Enrique Delgado Ramos Project Manager| Cooperazione Internazionale (COOPI) Caracas, Distrito Capital, Venezuela (Bolivarian Republic of)
Excelente !!!

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Alexis Enrique Delgado Ramos Project Manager| Cooperazione Internazionale (COOPI) Caracas, Distrito Capital, Venezuela (Bolivarian Republic of)
Excelente !!!

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Cibin Thomas Reston, Va, United States
Definitely worth reiterating to a broader audience as this is basic etiquette and good manners that matter. Best use of it leads to building trust, confidence and good communication.

Thanks for sharing Kiron!!

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Rami Kaibni
Community Champion
Senior Projects Manager | Field & Marten Associates New Westminster, British Columbia, Canada
Good points Kiron ... Totally Agree.

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Kiron Bondale Retired | Mentor| Retired Welland, Ontario, Canada
Thanks Tamer, Alexis, Cibin & Rami!

Thanks Sante - I'm guessing you didn't elect to proceed with that job as such poor behavior on the part of the hiring manager wouldn't bode well for the post-honeymoon period!

Kiron

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Anish Abraham Privacy Program Manager| University of Washington Auburn, Wa, United States
I completely agree with you, Kiron and thanks for sharing.

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Sante Delle-Vergini, PhD Senior Project Manager| Infosys Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Kiron, I was a contractor at the time and they ended up going with an internal resource. Other issues during the meeting were the interviewer's distraction with his phone and not articulating what the job was even about; basically he couldn't define it. It wasn't posted with a job description. I found out later that they turned over 5 people in 8 months to do that job.

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Kiron Bondale Retired | Mentor| Retired Welland, Ontario, Canada
Thanks Anish! Sante, good thing you didn't join that death spiral!

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Kevin Drake Perth, Western Australia, Australia
I need to remind myself all the time about it, Thanks Kiron

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Alok Priyadarshi Project Manager| Tata Consulting Engineers Limited Jamshedpur, Jharkhand, India
Thanks Kiron.

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Drew Craig Sr. Agile & Product Coach| Vanguard Philadelphia, Pa, United States
Important topic; and skill! I tend to only bring my notebook into facilitation or similar type discussions.

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Thomas Walenta Global Project Economy Expert Hackenheim, Germany
Kiron, great post.

It is also helpful to know the techniques used in active listening and practice them. If you do practice one technique every day for 2-3 weeks (you should have conversations enough), it will become natural and a habit.

These are the techniques I use to teach about:
•Mirroring – repeat last words, maybe as a question – non-confrontational
•Paraphrasing – rephrase what you heard – clarification: what I am hearing is …..
•Emotional Labelling – express what you think the other feels: you seem to be frustrated ….
•Summarizing – restate the content of the last conversation, condensed, closes that conversation (most effective negotiators use that to make progress): we just discussed about … and concluded …, is that also your understanding?
•Pausing – using silence
•Minimal encouragers – short sounds, gestures to encourage dialogue and continuation, sure, yep, hmm
•I-messages – appealing as a peer, non-confrontational, in particular with emotions: I feel frustrated that we did not …
•Open ended questions – in order to understand the intent: I am sorry, I did not understand ….
•Avoid why questions – they sound like judgments
•Ask for confirmations (yes)
•Ask yes/yes questions – instead of ‘do you like it?’ which one do you like?

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Kiron Bondale Retired | Mentor| Retired Welland, Ontario, Canada
Thanks Kevin, Alok & Andrew!

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Cheikh FAYE Microsoft Dynamics 365 Business Expert, CEO and owner| Eurêka Technologies Dakar, Senegal
Great topic Kiron. In fact active listening is critical to any discussion and to communication in general. Thanks a lot.

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Kiron Bondale Retired | Mentor| Retired Welland, Ontario, Canada
Thanks Cheikh!

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Karan Shah Bangalore, Karnataka, India
The only problem with this approach is the other person. I can't even begin to count the number of times I have had to stop talking when the other person reaches across the table to address a chirp on their phone.

Maybe we should make it a practice to send all other people (that one would potentially interact with) to this page to understand the importance of not having any unnecessary distractions when listening.

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Kiron Bondale Retired | Mentor| Retired Welland, Ontario, Canada
Absolutely Karan - focus only works well in a conversation when BOTH parties are focused. However, I have found that doing something overt like putting your smartphone at the end of the table where it can't be easily picked up or observed is usually noticed by most and they either follow suit or try not to get distracted.

Kiron

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RAJESH K L Project Manager, PMP| Bharat Electronics, Bengaluru, India Bengaluru, Karnataka, India
Interesting one.

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