Servant Leadership: Serve to Be Great

A very good friend of mine, Francis Pring-Mill, with whom I spent much time teaching dozens of multi-day project management courses to groups of consultants in many cities around North America, wrote a book called "In Harmony with the Tao: A Guided Journey into the Tao Te Ching". In this analysis, he helps us read between the lines of wisdom conveyed by this ancient Chinese text, written over 2,500 years ago by Lao Tsu. We all know at least one line from Lao Tsu's book: "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

Why am I talking about this here? I knew one day Francis would somehow tie together the Tao and project management and In a recent newsletter to his loyal followers, he did just that. I thought I would post the article in its entirety here for the benefit of those who practice or are interested in servant leadership, since I believe the message of the article certainly applies.

Enjoy!

----------------

“If you want to accord with the Tao, just do your job, then let go.”

(Lao Tzu)

 Let go? But what if things don’t turn out the way we want? What if others don’t notice who we are and what we’ve done? The Tao Te Ching (Chapter 24) reminds us we can either be directed by our self-image and cling to what we’ve done, or we can let go and live in harmony with the Tao. It’s our choice.

Wouldn’t it be great if we always got to do a job we loved to do, the world paid us a living to do it, and we could just lose ourselves in the joy of doing our work? At the end of the day, we could let it all go knowing we could do the same again next day. The reward, as it were, would lie in the moment; it would not lie in some future payoff.

Unfortunately, a lot of the time our work is not a joyful end in itself – it’s a means to an end. Often, a large part of the reason for doing our work does lie in the future. We’re striving after something we desire: more money, or more security, or the esteem of other people. It’s the results we want, and we don’t have them yet. Nonetheless we act and feel as if we own the results already. So we take our work very personally. This is why we stay close by and why we don’t “let go.” Why do we do this?

I think part of the reason is because we’ve invested a lot of ourselves in doing the work. And we tend to cling to it precisely because we haven’t yet got the results. The previous sentence in Chapter 24 says “He who clings to his work will create nothing that endures.” We cling because we want to make sure we reap the rewards of our efforts. We desire the money, or the security we believe the money will bring, or the esteem of others who will notice what a great job we’ve done and think more highly of us. In a nutshell, once basic needs are met, we cling to our work because it’s the fame and fortune we’re after.

The bad news is that neither fame nor fortune are certain, and both of them have a habit of hiding in the future. What’s more, if they arrive in the present, they are seldom things that “endure.” In the words of the quote, they do not accord with the Tao.

So what does Lao Tzu mean when he invites us to let go and thereby “accord with the Tao”? I think he’s suggesting we let go of desiring particular future outcomes from what we do. Note this does not mean that we don’t care one way or another. Nor does it mean we have no goals. I think it simply means that when we act, we desire no particular outcome and expect no particular result.

Desire and expectation are not needed. What’s more they interfere because they linger once we have acted. They are our vested interest in a particular outcome or a particular result. Desire and expectation are what prevent us from letting go. In the grand scheme of things, all we have is the opportunity to influence what is unfolding anyway with or without our help. We don’t get to control all the detailed consequences of our actions. What if we let our goal be no more than a creative intent to shape the unfolding of what is about to be?

If we did this, I think we’d spend more time listening. We’d spend more time responding rather than reacting. We’d aim to create harmony. We’d forget desire and expectation. We’d act with intent and caring. Then we’d let go.

Well, I certainly wish I could do that consistently on a daily basis! What would that look like for me?

Suppose I was managing a project involving other people, I think it would look like getting less involved in the details of what everyone was doing, and getting more focused on building the vision of the project. I would do more letting go and trusting people to bring their skills to achieving our common goal. I like to think I wouldn’t lose sight of staying on time and on budget, but would be more open to changing our project plan if someone came up with a better way to do things.

Would I be “according” with the Tao? Well, that’s a tough question. However, I think the project would flow a lot better. In short, I think I’d still “do my job” but I’d also be more open to letting go. And if I was concerned that people wouldn’t notice what a great project manager I was, I’d try to remember the Harry S. Truman quote: “It’s amazing what you can accomplish if you don’t care who gets the credit.” I can’t help thinking Lao Tzu would agree.

What’s an example that’s true for you? Where do you think you might “cling” to your work? What would “letting go” look like for you? What aspect of your job might go better if you did some of that?

If you have any thoughts you’d like to share, you can get in touch with me by:

• replying to this e-mail
• reaching me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/FrancisPringMillAuthor
• using the Contact page on my website www.inharmonywiththetao.com

Thanks for reading. Feel free to share this newsletter.

Francis

(In Harmony with the Tao: A Guided Journey into the Tao Te Ching is available as an e-book or as a paperback from your nearest independent book store, from White Cloud Press, from Amazon.com, or from Amazon.ca.)

There is an old saying in the Medical  world - “There are no healthy individuals in the world. The ones that pretend to be must have been insufficiently examined for physical and/or psychological issues”. And, for the latter, the “usual” split is between “neurotics and persons with character disorders”.

Neurotics are individuals who assume too much responsibility and, when in conflict, they always blame themselves. Their speeches are full of phrases like: “I ought to”, “I should/shouldn’t” - illustrating their assumed “inferiority” doubled always by (what they feel that are) wrong decisions.  Au contraire, individuals with character disorders run away from responsibility and, in conflict, they always blame “the world”. The speech of an individual with character disorder will rely on “I can’t/couldn’t” or “I have/had to”, always accusing “no power of choice” and the external forces that act beyond his or her control. There is also a combination - called “character neurotics” - describing individuals who fail to find the balance in assuming responsibility in different situations.

In fact, the whole classification is built around responsibility and the pain and effort that this might bring. Assuming it too much and at a wrong time can bring a lot of bad consequences (and associated pain). Running away from it in crucial moments can ruin everything - results, relationships etc. Finding the right balance constitutes one of the most difficult problems of our lives.  

And, unfortunately, nowadays, existing environments don’t make it easier for us. All around us, there are forces that exert pressure and these forces are getting bigger and bigger: tighter deadlines, higher payments, greater expectations etc. We start to feel psychologically unsafe and either attempt to pass the responsibility to other individuals/organisations or assume too much, get too exposed and burn out quickly in a huge amount of stress.

Responsibility has become the “tiger in the room”. We either run like hell from it or jump  in front of it, waiting to be eaten. As soon as we no longer have the instruments - the whip and chair - to tame the tiger and to show our power, we run and hide or expose and accept the fate. Instead, we should use our authority and try to cope, dominate and even, love the “tiger”.

In this last case, the effort is huge. It requires discipline, a lot less ego and more emotion than rationality.  We suffer more and gratification is delayed. However, this way our self-growth will get a boost and, most importantly, as leaders, we will be ready to help and nurture our team members’ growth/development.

Let me recap: use authority instead of power, delay gratification to obtain a more sustainable result, less ego (other-focused), more emotion and feelings and, most of all, loving that “tiger” - knowing when/what is your responsibility and when/how to let it go and trust your team, your peers, your colleagues. For me (at least), this sounds a lot like Servant Leadership.

How about you - Are you ready to take responsibility and “love the tiger”?

The word “servant” triggers (in many situations) goose-bumps on individuals aspiring to be leaders. We are wired to perceive it as a “status-reducing” label, as a way to mark the limits for a second-class role (or, even worse, an individual). Associating it with strong, powerful noun - like leadership or leader - doesn’t make it better.

In fact, in this case - servant leadership or servant leader - the term “servant” (officially, a noun) is perceived more like an adjective, diminishing the force of its more famous associate. I always look at people’s faces when this topic is brought to the table. I actually started a little experiment.  When asked about what I am most passionate about and what my favourite speaking topic is, I answer first with “I am really into [or] I really like to speak about leadership…”. My conversational partner’s face lights up (“Oh, another one…” - he might be thinking) and he asks - ready to share and engage in a small debate - “What kind of leadership?”.

As soon as the “infamous” association - servant leadership - leaves my mouth, the just-created magic disappears. I can see disorientation and confusion in my interlocutor’s eyes. The comfortable smile is replaced by a suspicious scowl and, most probably, questions start popping into his or her mind - “What the hell is this? You are either a servant, or a leader. Are you mocking me?”

The reduction-effect of “servant” upon “leadership” - which I described earlier - is almost instantaneously present. Everybody loves Leadership and are willing to talk about this “amazing, sensible and always up-to date” topic. We need leaders and leadership. They are vital for our success, for our well-being, for our society. But...Servant Leadership? Servant Leaders? It seems to degrade the powerful noun.... leadership - as we were wired to perceive it.

We put our leaders on a really high pedestal. Even if they don’t want to be there, we elevate them. In many situations, this is the only way we can see (as in “perceive”) them as leaders. We need to see them at any moment, to have them in front, (literally) leading the way. Our leaders have to pull us and help us achieve a strong pace to the target. Otherwise, they are not the leaders we expected, the leaders who can take us there no matter what. How can we trust a leader who is actually behind us, gently pushing, not pulling and, most of all, serving us?

The way I see it, this sorry situation is triggered by two main factors:

1. Our human wiring triggers our constant need to win. We have to prove that we are better than the other person, we have to be the alpha dog (as individuals, as teams, as countries etc.). And this can be proven easily just by taking a quick look around us - in our history, in our schools, in our companies. But, in order to win, we need...a strong leader. Actually, we need her or him to be stronger (more powerful) than the other leaders. And this seems impossible when she or he exhibits servant characteristics like humility, kindness, patience, forgiveness etc. Where is the power in these?

2. We tend to trust our vision more than any other feeling.Therefore, it’s not enough to know that there is somebody there who has our back. We need to see him or her. That leader placed in front makes us feel protected. The group (by itself) might not be trustworthy. However, having the leader take control and direct/impose the way forward makes us feel safe (mainly, because we can see him or her there, in front, exuding power). How can we “feel safe” when we hear Servant Leadership principles like trusting the group, bearing others’ interests in mind, using the “force” of the group and making sure that we all reach our destination, while our understated leader exercises authority (not power) somewhere from behind the group and not in front?

        As I recall, coming back to my little experiment, no conversation about Servant Leadership ends up in a dull, boring way. The majority of my interlocutors smile politely and either change the subject or excuse themselves, leave or engage in another conversation. I get it - we might not be ready for this. Re-wiring our brains can be hard and takes a long time.

    However, I have seen individuals (it’s true, just a small percent) who were stirred and intrigued by the whole idea. Something sparked behind their eyes - maybe just enough to kick-off an internal revolution. This kind of “inception” is the one I am counting on. This is the one bringing more selflessness and less selfishness, more trust, more community and less individuality, more authority and so on and so forth.

We can be both “servants” and “leaders” - we need only to feel we have the freedom and encouragement to be a leader - a Servant Leader - to recognize that spark in ourselves.

The other day I was staying at my townhouse in Minnesota and was looking for something to eat for dinner.  I searched the cabinets and refrigerator and settled on grilling a cheeseburger.  Then the realization came to me that the task would be slightly difficult.  Using a grill during the winter in the Midwest is possible when it is cold out, but this specific night it was -4F (with a “feels-like” temperature of -24F).  So, while possible it is not the most inviting thing to do.  So, I thought of my options and decided that I could make it inside on the stove.  I thought to myself how hard could it be?  When I was a kid, my mom always made cheeseburgers on the stove.  And, while my mom has many amazing qualities and talents, let’s just say cooking is not necessarily at the top of the list.

Cooking started out fine.  I cooked one side of the burger.  When I lifted the lid of the frying pan and flipped the patty over there was some smoke coming from the pan, but nothing out of the ordinary.  When I walked back to the stove to flip the burger back over, the “nothing out of the ordinary” smoke could only be described as being like a thick fog rolling in off of the ocean, or in this case billowing through the first floor of the townhouse.

I realized that the smoke detectors were going to go off if I didn’t act quickly.  I obviously didn’t act fast enough because they went off one by one… since they were all connected.  First floor, second floor, garage…  While I was dashing around trying to figure out how to fan out the first floor I got really nervous about all of the other consequences of this smoke and the smoke detectors.  For example, since the townhouse is in a community with other attached units and there are smoke detectors AND sprinklers in the ceiling, I wondered whether the sprinklers would go off and soak everything, not only in my townhouse but in the others around me?  I managed to let the fog roll out by opening the garage door and front door to get a good cross breeze and slowly but surely the smoke detectors stopped.  Besides it being a bit cold in the townhouse for a little while the crisis was diverted.

It got me thinking about the purpose of a smoke detector.  And, at this point you may be wondering, “Why is he  writing about this in a project management blog?”  While I was grabbing my jacket to stay warm while the smoke subsided I started to think about the purpose of a smoke detector.  It is to keep us safe and to alert us of potential fire.  It isn’t a fire yet, but it is a system that is meant  to tell us if we don’t act quickly we may have a fire.  There isn’t a guarantee that the smoke will ever lead to flame, but it is certainly possible.  And, because of technology, the connected systems give notice that something isn’t right and can alert the other systems around us.

In Project Management, we have a lot of different “smoke detectors” we employ purposefully or perhaps are there already even though we may not realize it.  For example, we have Total Float in a schedule.  This can alert us that activities on the Critical Path of a project could cause problems, but aren’t necessarily causing  issues yet.  Another example is Project Status Meetings.  These meetings aren’t scheduled so we can sit around and tell each other what we have accomplished and in some cases waste our time, but to give the Project Team the opportunity to all meet and discuss potential areas of concern.  In our personal and professional daily life, if you think about it, I believe there are a lot of areas where we can find our own “smoke detectors”.

So, tonight, when you are sitting around your house thinking, “I sure am glad I don’t have Graham here cooking dinner for me!”, also consider what types of detectors and alarms you may have on your projects and where you may want to add a few more.  Getting to the smoke before there is flame can be a tremendous sigh of relief in the end.

The old adage “Where there’s smoke there’s fire.” may not always be true, but certainly where there’s smoke, there will likely be fire!  Watch for smoke, and keep your project safe!

As most of you are aware, the Project Management Body of Knowledge (PMBOK) defines Project Management as “the application of knowledge, skills, tools, and techniques to project activities to meet the project requirements.”  After a summer of fun, I couldn’t help but think that while I manage projects in various areas in my business life, I am surrounded by successful Project Managers every day in my personal life, and so are others.  Each and every day you can pick up any newspaper and read a story about projects that were completed, but Project Management is often used as a “scapegoat”.  Sure, there are tons of successful projects and most are because Project Management was timely because the Project teams focus on meeting or beating cost, schedule, or scope.  But, it made me wonder why we fail so often at something we do so frequently.

So, back to my summer of fun.  I had the opportunity to do so many things with my family. Each and every summer I get to go to my favorite place on earth, Chatham, Massachusetts on Cape Cod.  I am fortunate to have a close group of family members who are able to join every year.  There are the usual 15-20 cousins, aunts, and uncles, but we also are lucky enough to have another 15-20 family members who come every few years.  Why am I telling you all of this?  It’s because I had an epiphany with regards to how much Project Management comes into play when this week comes around.  I thought it would be fun to look at the five process groups that entail Project Management Processes (Initiating, Planning, Executing, Monitoring/Controlling, and Closing) and how they really make a successful trip.  

As an aside, my immediate family can identify with others living with a Project Manager, especially because of my usual PM focus, but there are occasions where it comes in handy.  To give you an idea of how far I have gone, a few years ago I created a spreadsheet for our Disney World visit.  You may laugh out loud or more than likely roll your eyes at this point, but I stand by my idiosyncrasies because my family each had requests of what they wanted to see and what they wanted to do. With some timely use of the processes I have learned through the years, everyone was able to see what they wished to see; be it a princess, a parade, or the Pirates of the Caribbean theme ride.

For those who don’t know about Chatham or Cape Cod, it can be treated like any other vacation spot and has tourist traps galore.  With upwards of 40 family members all vacationing at once, planning is of utmost importance to avoid those tourist traps.  So, on to the initiating phase.  There are a handful of us that have been coming here for over 35 years so we usually are the ones who focus on some of the requirements.  My older cousin and I usually are the ones who try to sort through all of these requirements since we are part of the original group.  However, it’s not to say that we make all of the decisions without input.  We need to make sure we take into consideration some of the constraints.  This includes pleasing the younger cousins who always have a say in where we go and what they want to see.  And there are also the older family members who may have some restrictions such as how mobile they are so care needs to be taken in where we go for some of the all-in family nights (bbq’s, beach nights, and dinner locations).  Meeting both the young and the old is always a challenge, but usually dictates the execution, or whatever the activity is, of each phase.

With the use of text messages, plain old sticky notes and scratched notes on sides of old newspapers, we are always able to monitor and control how things are going.  And one of the most efficient and relaxing ways of planning at the end of each night is to sit around a fire pit, roasting s’mores or enjoying ice cream and discussing not only how things went that day, but also looking ahead to the next few days.  For the newcomers, the veterans of our family vacation always give options based on feedback to try for the next day.  All of these Project Management tools come into play way more than I ever thought about.  And, with most project close outs it is done with handshakes, hugs and the soon to be patented, “Corcoran sendoff”.

So, what makes all of this possible each and every year with so many people?  It is due to the strength of family, but it is also due to the PM skills inherent in us as Project Managers.  We are able to successfully get the most out of vacation each and every time because of the process.  Sure, we don’t follow the PMBOK for each and everything we do in life, but it sure helps us all in areas that aren’t necessarily sitting at a desk or on a project site.  Next time you set out on a family vacation I implore you to think of this approach and see if it might help avoid some sad faces, just like you want to avoid those faces in your professional life.