An Influential Project Manager

When a personality clash occurs, life can get very difficult, very quickly. 

The sooner you recognise it for what it is, the easier it will be to fix.

There are four key elements to consider in these situations - content, behaviour, tension and emotion.

Most clashes begin with a disagreement on content and escalate due to differences in behaviour people use to gain agreement. As these differences become entrenched, the tension rises, as do the emotional reactions. Which means, things continue to get worse until an interrupt takes place.

What I find fascinating is that if two people use similar behaviours to try to remedy the disagreement on content, they naturally move towards problem-solving. The clash begins when people just don’t like or agree with the way the other person is handling it.

The key to fixing a personality clash is to find a way that both sides can comfortably adopt similar behaviours as they seek a resolution OR both sides accept and tolerate the differences in behaviours.

Which means, if you are facing a personality clash, you can take constructive action to adjust your behaviour, and your levels of tolerance of the other persons way of behaving.

In a later post I will share some ideas on practical action you can take if you are affected by this problem. Meantime, take a look at the OnDemand webinar (PMI Members only) which goes into a lot of detail on behavioural differences.

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When it comes to workplace politics, I notice that many people get ensnared by paranoia, fantasy, doom and gloom.

Not surprising given the often mysterious nature of the political world of work. And of course, the experience of falling prey to those who play the politics at the cost of integrity and to the detriment of the organisation.

Which is perhaps why people, when they face a political challenge, actually end up digging themselves deeper into the mire without realising it. 

For instance:

• Automatically thinking that the perpetrators are “out to get them” and taking it personally.
• Attempting to fight back with political moves of their own.
• Spending an inordinate amount of time fretting about the situation.
• Bemoaning the sorry state of affairs to anyone who will listen.
• Assuming that there is nothing they can do.

The problem here, is that they are quite naturally biased towards a negative viewpoint. And by engaging in the actions above, they are actually making things worse rather than better. 

Instead, I like to advocate that when facing a political problem, people need to:

1. Calmly accept that this is the way the world works, and is part of life’s rich tapestry.
2. Recognise that what appears to be political manoeuvring is simply someone disagreeing with the proposed course of action (for whatever reason).
3. Adopting a constructive attitude, engage with people around the problem and seek out the facts - with an open mind.
4. Recognise that less than perfect relationships may make some of the “facts” inaccurate, and come up with a “best guess” after consulting with a wide group of trusted allies.
5. Engage the parties in an open dialogue to solve the problem because created for the project or organisation, in an adjective manner as possible.
6. Smile, and keep remembering that it isn’t likely to be personal, just someone else trying to get their way, for whatever reason.

Now, I do accept this may be a tall order for some, but given the skills of facilitation you have learned as a project manager, applying them to a political situation is doable - once you learn to put aside your emotional reactions.

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I define power as the “capacity to influence,” and influence as “someone acting, thinking, feeling differently that they would otherwise have done.” Consequently, someone with power does not need to perform any action to get people to act differently. Just their mere presence can do this.

I’ll never forget as a junior coming up against a programme manager who looked like he had already eaten several project managers for breakfast, and then he growled at me! Or the time I prepared extra hard to meet with the PMO Director for the first time, whose reputation around the organisation was that of a hard-hitting, intolerant man who took no prisoners as he delved into the nitty gritty of our programmes.

In both these cases, I acted very differently because of their power.

The point is, everyone has power and impact beyond their awareness, that is influencing the way people act, think or feel. Being unaware means that there is a huge risk that you will miss opportunities to leverage more influence, or simply give your power away.

One business school professor I know is researching the extent to which people give power away. He says that it is common place for people to cede to others who they perceive to have more power than themselves. Their lack of self-confidence, imposter syndrome and many other factors in their internal dialogue mean that they just let other effectively “walk all over them.”

What makes you powerful? Empowering yourself is a key skill in my book. Then you can show up with confidence, knowing that you have what it takes. And to not be intimidated by other powerful people.

When I met with the PMO Director, I had done my prep. I knew my stuff and drew confidence from that. Indeed, my programme was way ahead of the others, on target and delivering fast. So, I was able to take the lead, demonstrate to John the progress. Indeed, as it happened, he had nowhere else to go and closed the meeting early to move on to something else.

Had I not empowered myself ahead of that situation, things could have been very different.

Power is a fascinating and complex phenomenon which merits study. Lots of different things give people the capacity to influence, not just the more negative examples I have given here.. Things like trust, amiability, humour, qualifications, experience, challenge. 

What is important is that you develop a greater awareness of what give you power. Become more self-aware and find ways to foster that. 

Power should be developed because it can do so much good.

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Strangely, when I notice someone struggling to get their stakeholders to engage with them, to respond to their messages, it always seems to be the fault of the stakeholder, not the individual trying to get their attention. 

“They never seem to have time.” “Got their priorities all wrong.” “Just interested in their personal agenda.” To name but a few (excuses).

Now, I know you are not one to make excuses. I’m sure you take full responsibility for the way you may be contributing to the problem, and do something about it. 

Unlike others you know who may be innocently aggravating their stakeholders into avoiding them. By doing things like:

• Making Life Difficult. For instance, moaning all the time, asking for them to do unnecessary things, giving them far too much to read with little lead time.
• Failing to Prepare. Turning up not able to answer even their most obvious questions. Repeatedly saying, “I’ll get back to you on that one.”
• Throwing Problems at Them. Finding fault is easy. Highlighting them without having solutions to offer is another way of making life difficult for others. 
• Being Petulant: “Oxford English Definition: Childish, sulky, bad-tempered.” No, not you, but I bet you see others acting like this.
• Lacking Clarity. “Will you just get to the point?” Experts are great at giving far too much information, presenting all the pros and cons and the minute detail. Help them make a quick decision.
• Failing to Follow Through. Ah yes. I’m told that even qualified project managers can let things slip, especially on the trivial actions that are not part of the plan, but are very important to stakeholders.
• Avoiding Responsibility. Yes, it happens, but usually down to a lack of clarity about who is accountable for what, in the mind of the stakeholder. 

Can you think of other ways project managers you know may be aggravating their stakeholders? Well, you may like to share this with them and help them work out ways to make it as easy as possible for stakeholders to engage with them. Perhaps even engage your coaching and counselling skills?

I’ll leave this with you then.

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When meeting people for the first time, do you ever consider that you’d like to make a good impression with them?

You probably do, especially if they are likely to be important to you, perhaps a new sponsor, a key stakeholder, or a major supplier.

But, do you go beyond that? Do you consider exactly what impression you wish to create?

Probably not, most people don’t.

Which gives you a great opportunity to take the lead. Here’s some ideas on how you can do this.

• Write down examples of the thoughts you’d like them to be thinking after the first meeting when they think about you. For example: “She really know’s what she is talking about.” “This is the sort of guy we need on our side.” “At last, a project manager with real dynamism!”
• Think of three words that you would like to be in their minds at the end of the meeting when they think about you. Such as, focused, challenging, meticulous. Or, formidable, engaging, kind. It’s okay, just examples. You choose your own!
• Based on what you know of them, write down a few examples of the kind of things they may consider would make a good impression. For instance, wearing a tie, cracking a joke or two, engaging in small talk, having documentary evidence to refer to, being able to reference powerful people. Come on, I know you’re starting to sweat a little, but this is serious stuff.
• Similarly, write down a few ideas about what would create a bad impression with them. For instance, wearing a tie, cracking a joke or two… yes, I am repeating myself for a reason. You have to guess at their cultural norms which will probably be different from your won, and figure out what might work best for them as individuals.

Now, I accept that this may take a few minutes to reflect on, but only a few minutes and without any other effort, you will be more likely to make the sort of impression you would like to make. 

In fact, many of my clients tell me they have made it a habit to consider this as they walk towards the meeting room, or wait for the virtual meeting to open.

NB: Please resist the usual temptation to select works like trustworthy, expert, professional. They are boring because everyone is trying to be that (even if you don’t think so!)

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Review the OnDemand webinar Building Your Reputation

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It is always good to connect, so feel free to reach out to me either here on the Project Management website or on LinkedIn. See you soon!