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Building Relationships Before You Need Them

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Amal Giknis
PMI Team Member
Mentoring Specialist III| PMI Philadelphia, PA, United States

The August webinar, "In My Shoes: Sponsorship, Legacy, & Advancement," captured some key connections to the role of mentorship. I appreciated Dr. Syreeta's clear distinction: "Mentors talk to you. Sponsors talk about you." Shirley Ellis emphasized this difference between mentorship and sponsorship by noting that "when somebody sponsors you, they're putting their name on the line."

 

The full webinar is worth checking out if you missed it: https://www.projectmanagement.com/videos/1...---advancement. Thank you to the hosts for sharing their wisdom and expertise in this rich conversation!

 

One recurring message that resonated for me thinking about mentorship was about building relationships before you need them. In other words, meaningful professional relationships develop over time, not simply at the moment we need a recommendation, introduction, or opportunity.

 

Shirley Ellis' advice to "Build a genuine relationship" made me think about how often networking is discussed as a transaction rather than a long-term investment in people. The strongest mentorship and sponsorship relationships I've seen seem to be rooted in authentic connection and mutual respect.

 

Curious about the community's experiences:

  • How have you built meaningful relationships with mentors or sponsors over the course of your career?
  • What distinguishes authentic relationship-building from transactional networking?
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Kiron Bondale Retired | Mentor| Retired Welland, Ontario, Canada
Amal -

This principle is something I've applied with key stakeholders (often times resource/functional managers) when I used to lead projects. If you have developed those positive relationships prior to when you need a favor from those folks, it becomes a whole lot easier to ask for them when the time comes and they are more willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.

This is one of the advantages which employed in house PMs enjoy over "hired gun" PMs (the ones who are brought in for a specific project and leave thereafter).

Kiron
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Luis Branco CEO| Business Insight, Consultores de Gestão, Ldª Carcavelos, Lisboa, Portugal
Amal, I think the distinction may be less about whether a professional relationship involves exchange and more about whether the relationship is defined by that exchange.

Most professional relationships involve some form of reciprocity.
Asking for advice, sharing knowledge, making an introduction or creating an opportunity does not make a relationship transactional.
The difference, for me, is whether the person continues to matter when there is nothing immediate to gain.

That is also why “building relationships before you need them” is important, but perhaps not sufficient.
Starting earlier does not by itself make a relationship authentic if it is still being cultivated mainly for future benefit.
Trust and mutual respect develop when contribution is not continually conditional on an expected return.

Sponsorship makes this particularly visible.
As you highlight, a sponsor may advocate for someone when that person is not in the room, sometimes putting real relational or reputational capital behind that advocacy.
At its best, this reflects more than a useful contact. It reflects enough trust in the person, their capabilities and their judgment to stand behind them.

So perhaps authentic professional relationships can involve exchange without being defined by extraction.
For me, that is where networking begins to become relationship.
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Lissette Indhira Pimentel Sosa
Community Champion
Program Manager| HARPER SRL Santo Domingo / Distrito Nacional, Dominican Republic
The strongest mentoring relationships have developed over time through regular conversations, not only when I needed advice or help with something. Staying in touch, sharing progress, and also being willing to contribute from my side has made those relationships much more natural.
Some of those connections have continued long after the original mentoring relationship or activity ended.
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Dr Syreeta Rios Project Management Consultant| DrSyreetaBond.com Austin, TX, United States
Thank you so much Amal for sharing and listening, appreciate it so much. Yes I absolutely love all the ladies on this panel and take notes myself while moderating!
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Eduard Hernandez
Community Champion
Corporate Project Manager - Tech Transfer| Neuraxpharm Barcelona, Cataluña, Spain
I fully agree with Kiron's point: build the relationship before you need anything from that person. It's a bit like dinners with a friend: if only one person ever pays, the other eventually stops offering too. Relationships only last when they're reciprocal, regardless of hierarchy.

When you invest early and genuinely, you build the kind of trust where you know you've got each other's back.

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