When is “No” the Right Answer?
From the Servant Leadership: Serve to Be Great Blog
by Cameron McGaughy,
Catalin Dogaru, Mike Frenette, Tolga Özel, Suzan Cho, Jonathan Lee, Graham Briggs, Cecilia Boggi
This blog is about leadership as it applies to projects and project management, but also as it applies to society in general. The bloggers here manage projects and lead teams in both business and volunteer environments, and are all graduates of PMI's Leadership Institute Master Class. We hope to bring insight into the challenges we all experience in our projects and in our day-to-day work, providing helpful tidbits to inspire you to take action to improve—whether in your personal life, your business/work life or on your projects. Read, comment and share your experiences as we share ours. Let’s make the pie bigger! Grab a slice!
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As I type this , I am thinking of all the things I have to do, and how it would have been easier to try to sluff this commitment off to someone else. But, that wouldn’t be fair, would it? Since I made a commitment to write a post for this blog, I feel I must keep it - unless disaster strikes. Especially when the blog is about leadership.
What message would I be sending my colleagues if I said no to a commitment they have all been living with for a year and which I made a year ago too? So what if I have to prepare a keynote address and a one-day workshop? So what if I am going on vacation and won’t be able to work easily while on the road? So what if I have constant demands on my time, and have an affliction in that I don’t want to say no to anyone?
Well, as we all know, there comes a time when you do have to say no, especially if you know you are tapped out and have no more capacity. But you have to be very selective.
Should you say no to a long-held commitment like this Blog? No!
Should you say no to something that can wait for a month or two? Maybe...
Should you say no to something with a looming deadline where you run the risk of disappointing a lot of people or even embarrassing yourself or <gasp> both? No!
Should you say no to the offer of a new group membership that might pay dividends in long term, but will take some effort in the short term? Well, It depends, doesn’t it?
Should you say no to helping a family member with a critical health issue? Of course not!
Should you allow a protege to do something for you, especially when he/she may benefit by doing it for you, while freeing your time? Yes - of course!
So get your priorities straight and choose your “no's” carefully. Maintain your integrity. Know your capacity before you commit. And if sacrificing your personal time to meet important commitments is what it takes, get on with it!
When have you had to say no and wish you had said yes? When have you said yes and wished you had not (nothing personal, please!)? What were the impacts? Tell us your story.
Posted
by
Mike Frenette
on: November 08, 2016 02:01 PM |
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Comments (7)
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Julia Cunningham
Manager Project Management| Battelle
Richland, Wa, United States
Great, short and thought provoking blog. This is a very hard topic for the type of person typically attracted to the field of project management, and not helped by the likes of Benjamin Franklin saying "if you want something done, ask a busy person".
Mike Frenette
Manager, IT PMO| Halifax Water (retired)
Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
Thank you, Julia. I have always held Mr. Franklin's suggestion in question too. ;)
Andrew Butler
Project Manager| Brightstar Lotteries
Bedford, Bedfordshire, United Kingdom
Indeed this was a very interesting read. Short and concise.
There have been times in past roles where I have been "told" to take on projects by my boss that in hindsight were doomed from the start and I should have said no but didn't feel I had the authority to say no!
I certainly have a habit of accepting tasks when I could, and probably should, say no. Your simple notes on when to say no are good. I especially like the part of delegating to another or just delaying something that can wait.
In my experience many managers don't like delegating tasks that they feel is important or prestigious. It is an area when we can all learn.
Thank you
Mike Frenette
Manager, IT PMO| Halifax Water (retired)
Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
Thanks for you kind words, Andrew.
One has to be careful saying "No!" to your boss, of course, but it can be appreciated when done tactfully, backed up with thoughtful reasoning. I find pointing out conflicting priorities, stretched resources and maybe suggestions about where the effort might be better spent based on business priorities to be useful in such a situation.
It is very difficult to let go at times when it comes to delegating, isn't it? Personally, I find when I place my trust in others, it either turns out very well or it becomes a valuable learning experience for the delegatee.
Denise Canty
Agile Coach, Life Coach, Author, Senior Project-Program Manager| Cenden Company
Washington, Dc, United States
No is the right answer when it doesn't feel right to say Yes.
Mike Frenette
Manager, IT PMO| Halifax Water (retired)
Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
Denise: You get high points for brevity and clarity. Much more concise than I! :)
Luis Branco
CEO| Business Insight, Consultores de Gestão, Ldª
Carcavelos, Lisboa, Portugal
Dear Mike
Interesting perspective on the theme: "When is“ No ”the Right Answer?
Thanks for sharing
If we read and practice the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, the habits of private victory are:
1. Be proactive
2. Begin with the end in mind
3. First things first
We will know under what circumstances and what requests we should say "no"
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