Beware of Instajudgments, Imposter Syndrome and Saber-tooth Tigers
From the Voices on Project Management Blog
by Cameron McGaughy,
Lynda Bourne, Kevin Korterud, Conrado Morlan, Peter Tarhanidis, Mario Trentim, Jen Skrabak, David Wakeman, Wanda Curlee, Christian Bisson, Ramiro Rodrigues, Soma Bhattacharya, Emily Luijbregts, Sree Rao, Yasmina Khelifi, Marat Oyvetsky, Lenka Pincot, Jorge Martin Valdes Garciatorres, cyndee miller
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Date
by Cyndee Miller
Sizing people up doesn’t require much time—13 milliseconds to be precise. That’s how long it takes for people to read and judge facial expressions. (I really hope your face doesn’t smack of boredom as you read this.)
People say a lot without saying anything at all, leadership expert Olivia Fox Cabane said during the PMO Symposium closing keynote. And if PMO leaders want to start having better (read: more inspiring) relationships, they’d be wise to take a good, long look in the mirror.
Let’s step back for a bit, though. Rather, let’s step back hundreds of thousands of years. What’s driving all this insta-judginess? It’s evolution, specifically the necessity of developing flight or fight responses back in the time when risk registers were mainly filled with saber-tooth tigers.
Sure, we’ve come a long way, but we still make judgments every single day. Consider how you sit during a meeting. Not making eye contact? That can come across as being untrustworthy. Taking up a lot of space? That comes across as a play for dominance, for better or worse.
It can’t be all about you, you, you, either. The best leaders look out for those they manage and make sure they don’t succumb to things like the dreaded imposter syndrome. You know it, the sinking feeling that deep down, you have no idea what you’re doing in your job and it’s just a matter of moments before you get exposed. “At least 80 percent of your junior members feel it,” Ms. Cabane says.
Thing is, that’s a natural emotion. (And self-criticism isn’t necessarily all terrible—doubt leads to a desire to work harder, which leads to better skills, etc.) But as a leader, even if you can’t get rid of that tugging notion inside your protégé, you can help them handle self-doubt. “You’re the person they look to to react to how they should feel about something.”
Ultimately, Ms. Cabane said, the secret to relationships isn’t about wit or wordplay. It’s about attitude. If you want to make a difference, Ms. Cabane says, treat whoever you’re talking to “as if they are the most fascinating individual you’ve ever met.”
Unless that’s a saber tooth tiger. If that’s the case—run.
Posted
by
cyndee miller
on: November 10, 2016 09:49 AM |
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Wajiha Salman
Chief Learning Officer| Home
Dubai, United Arab Emirates
Being a team lead with an imposter syndrome is like trendy in the marshes, the more insecurity your words, actions and decisions show; the more your subordinates (team hierarchy wise) are able to influence your collective success.
You don't have to be a smokin gun to get people aligned to the team goal; just adequately respected to get them to trust you. It's a fine rope to tie and then walk on.
Useful topic. Interesting read
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