Reciprocal influence: Get both sides capable and confident to attempt to influence

 

You may well think that the ultimate position to be in is one where you can influence other people, but they are unable to influence you. That is fantastic in the short term, but very unsafe longer term.

For a relationship to really work, both sides need to feel that they can influence the other side. If they feel strongly about something, they should have the chance to negotiate for a change. That is the only way that both sides can win in the long term.

• What's the balance of influence like in your major relationships?
• Is there evidence of the other party attempting to influence you?
• When was the last time you asked them how they felt?

If the other side of your relationship doesn't feel confident to challenge or influence you, they will soon begin to feel oppressed. Oppressed people will look for ways out or seethe until the revolution.