Do you lack integrity if you change your behaviour?
From the An Influential Project Manager Blog
by Colin Gautrey
Today, more than ever, a project manager needs to be an influencer.
The purpose of this blog is to stimulate your journey towards greater influence. With influence, you can overcome the roadblocks thrown in your way, overcome opposition, align stakeholders and, enjoy your role even more.
However, since I know you are busy, the posts here will be short (about a minute), thought provoking and also drive you towards action.
Feel free to connect with me, ask me questions, and share what's good here.
Recent Posts
Kindness
Becoming Streetwise
Shooting in the Dark
Three Reasons Why You Can't Handle the Politics
Passed Over for Promotion?
Categories
impact,
influence,
power,
Stakeholder Management,
stakeholder management
Date
Last week on this blog I challenged the idea that perhaps, project managers are too soft. Of course, data being data… well, at least it got people thinking, and that is good.
If you’re curious about this topic, feel free to try out the Influence Profile yourself.
One of the key notions behind the profile is that if you differ from a stakeholder in terms of style, there is likely to be a distraction in your flow of communication/influence. They will be wondering why you are so different from them, instead of listening to what you are saying.
For instance, if they are very sociable (extrovert) and you are not (introvert), they will be worrying that you are so quiet, and you will be wondering when they will shut up.
So, we suggest that you should consider adapting your style nearer to the preferred style of your stakeholder, so that you remove the distraction and can both focus on the content of your communication.
Thus, you are behaving contrary to the way you would normally behave. Or, you are pretending to be something that you are not.
This unsettles many people, especially project managers, because they worry that they lack integrity by changing their behaviour in this way.
What do you think? If you pretend to be something that you are not, are you lacking in integrity?
Posted on: April 12, 2017 11:44 AM |
Permalink
Comments (9)
Please login or join to subscribe to this item
Naomi Caietti
Senior Project Manager | ePMO | Higher Education | Healthcare & IT| Linkedin.com/In/NaomiCaietti
Colin:
Wow, this is a pretty thought provoking with many questions but I think the simple question is are you a leader or follower? You must be good at being a follower to be a leader; it's a choice you choose. As a leader you will need to adapt a leadership style or styles, a set a behaviors and skill-sets along with business acumen so you lead authentically in many different situations.
When your behavior changes to help flow communication, it does not lack your integrity, it's just a way to focus on your real business and reduce noise. It is as if you are formal to wear, and someone invites you to the beach, you go with appropriate clothes maybe serious colors and maybe others like very colorful clothes, both are wearing appropiate clothes, each one in their own style.
The point is to be according to the occasion (leadering and avoid noise), not to be rigid
Diego Ferrer
Managing Principal| Quant16
Chicago, Il, United States
Adapting your style nearer to the preferred style of your stakeholder is not pretending to be something that you are not. I think that makes perfect sense.
Vincent Guerard
Coach - Trainer - Speaker - Advisor| Freelance
Mont-Royal, Quebec, Canada
Collin
Very good, yet provocative.
Mature stakeholders look for diversity!!!
Lane Compton
Project Manager| American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons
Rolling Meadows, Il, United States
Hi Colin, thanks for the question, it made me stop and think. I would challenge the assertion that adapting to the preferred style of a particular stakeholder or team is pretending to be something that I'm not. While I have my preferred style, it's important to have other techniques in my toolbox and that means that I'll need to hone them by actually putting them into practice in an appropriate context. I think pretending to be something I'm not might look more like making wholesale changes to my behavior even when I'm not interacting with that stakeholder or team out of fear that they might find out I'm not really like their conception of me.
Drew Craig
Sr. Agile & Product Coach| Vanguard
Philadelphia, Pa, United States
Hello Colin,
Good question, but, no. Integrity is not a high wire act. Integrity is a foundation, set of guidelines, in which an individual leads their life. I certainly act differently while at work, then while at home, but my values remain true. I act according to my surroundings, and adapt my conversation and demeanor according to my audience. This ties in with professionalism and maturity.
/Andrew
Very thought provoking and the responses from Naomi and Lane resonated with me. In my view, this is the same as being polite and cordial with someone you don't really like. Does it mean you lack integrity or are fake because you're not showing them how you really feel? No, it means you are a gracious, humble person who is confident enough in your own skin to know that modifying your behavior around them brings peace to everyone. You're the "bigger person" here, the one with the higher emotional intelligence to fit to the situation. Same thing with modifying your communication style to match your stakeholders.
Sometimes you need to change your behavior for better management.
Thanks Colin, i like it good document
Please Login/Register to leave a comment.
|
"If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?"
- Albert Einstein
|
