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So, You Fancy Yourself a Mind Reader? You’re Wrong.

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By Cyndee Miller

It’s probably the bracelets and the boots. But I long harbored a desire to be Wonder Woman. I had big plans for using her Lasso of Truth on my sister.
 
But conference keynoter Nicholas Epley came in with a reality check for me: “Of all the superpowers, reading minds is the only one you already have.”

It’s that innate human ability to understand what others think, feel, believe, want and know. And it’s what makes humans the most dominant species, he said.

But it's complicated. At best, the ability can help project professionals connect with their team. At worst, our egocentrism, stereotyping and behaviorism can spark misunderstanding or even conflict.

“There’s only one mind that you’re engaged with all the time: your own,” said Mr. Epley. “We tend to oversimplify other peoples minds.”

Body language tends to be another culprit of missed connections, says Mr. Epley — and this after I’ve spent years covering it as it as a way to get ahead in business. “The problem with body language is that we misread it,” he says.

To really understand someone, you have to really get inside their head, Mr. Epley offered a few tips:

  1. Be wary of gimmicks. Facial expressions and body language can mislead — and there’s no proof that training can improve a person’s ability to read it.
  2. Cut the confidence in half. Approach people with humility.
  3. Be painfully clear when you communicate. Ask direct questions, listen carefully, reiterate clearly and ask for confirmation.

Do you experience misunderstandings with your teams? Do you think Mr. Epley’s approach could help? 


Posted by cyndee miller on: October 30, 2017 01:08 PM | Permalink

Comments (9)

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Jess De Ocampo Lean Six Sigma Professional/Project Manager/Consultant/| . Manila, Ncr, Philippines
Thank you for sharing the article. In my opinion, to really understand someone is to keep an open mind and try to overcome any psychological biases and preconceived notions only then we can think objectively about someone or something. The way we interpret people and situations are often influenced by our cultural background, upbringing, our ability to analyze and synthesize, previous experience and new information.

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Drake Settsu Project Manager / Blogger Hi, United States
Good advice!

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Dinah Young Project Manager / Software Asset Manager| Prince William County Springfield, Va, United States
Thank you. I often joke with people that I read their mind. I think the longer you work with people, the more intuitive you become the the way the react. It is a matter of taking your own needs out of the equation and focusing on the other person.

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Stéphane Parent Self Employed / Semi-retired| Leader Maker Prince Edward Island, Canada
Mind reading may be difficult. Empathy, not so much. You can only be truly confident when you are, in fact, humble in your pursuits.

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Eduin Fernando Valdes Alvarado Project Manager| F y F Fabricamos Futuro Villavicencio, Meta, Colombia
Thanks for sharing

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Rami Kaibni
Community Champion
Senior Projects Manager | Field & Marten Associates New Westminster, British Columbia, Canada
Mind reading is difficult - I personally never really understood how they do so.

Stephane: I very much like and agree with what you've mentioned.

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Vincent Guerard Coach - Trainer - Speaker - Advisor| Freelance Mont-Royal, Quebec, Canada
When is the next mind reading coaching?

ha! ha!

Agree let stay humble

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Tajudeen Muhammed Oyedele Abuja, Fct, Nigeria
Humbleness and Mindfulness are tools for team and project success!!

Thank you.

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Gonzalo Jimenez Yamasaki Co-founder - Body Language Trainer/Coach| Ready To Jump .Pro Coquitlam, British Columbia, Canada
We cannot read minds, however, we can certainly learn how to read body language. And more importantly, how to respond accordingly.

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