Drunken Boxing for Project Managers
“The main feature of the drunkard boxing is to hide combative hits in drunkard-like, unsteady movements and actions so as to confuse the opponent. The secret of this style of boxing is maintaining a clear mind while giving a drunken appearance.”
Yeah... just like that… but with network diagrams and burndown charts… and a wee bit less vodka.
Several weeks ago ProjectWizards held our first NYC Tweet Up and Frank Blome and I had the chance to meet Fred Kluth. Fred works as a Interactive Production Manager in NYC for Funny Garbage and last week he was able to take some time out of his schedule for a brief video interview about his role as a project manager, his rules for Facebook and how he was able to use social media to land his gig.
Last week I was talking with a co-worker about the status report we have to file each week. It’s called a RAG Report. He asks why it is called a RAG Report. I explained to him that RAG stands for Red-Amber-Green and we spent some time discussing the various merits (or not) of completing that type of report. The intent is clear – show red, amber or green to quickly convey a message about the state of the project, but in practice, the sad thing is that the simple color system easily lends itself to a situation in which an executive will simply look at the color and ignore the rest of the detail that has been painstakingly crafted and tuned by the highly developed creative spin tactics of the project manager (or lead).
So, that conversation got me to thinking that maybe a RAG format had outlived its useful(less)ness. Being the hard working, creative mastermind that I am, I started trying to work out a new alternative to the Red-Amber-Green… and now I am proud to give you… (drumroll please)
The FIRM Report
The FIRM report embraces a new model for rating project health:
F = Fonzi
I = Isaac (your bartender)
R = Radar O’Reilly
M = Mr. T
Here is how this works:
If you get a Fonzi, that means “AHHHHHHEEEY” - things are very, very coolamundo!
If you get an Isaac (portrayed here with his classic “Double Issac” hand gesture), this means things seem to be more or less okay, but it would probably be a good idea to head down to the Lido deck and start having at the Mai Tais (yes that is the plural… I looked it up) post haste.
If you get a Radar you should be remembering all those times in the TV classic M*A*S*H (ATTN Gen Y… TV Land is your friend) when Radar (IMHO, the greatest PM ever portrayed in film or TV) cocks his head ever so slightly, and says “CHOPPERS!” This usually happens about 20 seconds before anyone else hears them. In other words, there is some seriously bad stuff in the air, probably involving bodies that are no longer intact, and they are headed your way champ.
Finally, we get to Mr. T… as in “I PITY THE FOOL!” which means… Dude, you are simply screwed, and no amount of gold around your neck is going to save you from the fact that someone is going to be taking you sweet van away very soon.
More on this in the next episode of Project Potion… and I’ll be posting a status template for you to test your job stability with very soon.
We're modifying the format of Project Potion a bit, trying to keep the time down to 10 minutes or less. In this episode The Project Shrink and I talk about the Malaysian Scrum User Group, the article on Bas in PM Network and a new alternative to those tired old RAG reports... THE FIRM REPORT.
