What Are Your Hard Knocks?

 

On 9 October, I facilitated a panel discussion with Beth Partleton, PMP, Debbie O’Bray (PMI Fellow), Marge Combe and Yanping Chen MD, PhD, PMP (PMI Fellow) at PMI’s Leadership Institute Meeting in Orlando, Florida. These former PMI Board Members shared how they got their start in project management, and also how they were introduced to PMI and came to lead in volunteer roles eventually serving at PMI’s highest levels. While it was emphasized that women and men participating on project teams are “more often alike than not,” the audience leaned in to know what diminutive or limiting behaviors they have seen their female colleagues (or themselves) engage in that lessened the effectiveness of women practitioners. Here are a few said during the discussion.

• “My problem is….I don’t take credit for my work. I am collaborative.” When talking about accomplishments, there is an appropriate time to talk about team contributions and individual effort. Let’s say you are interviewing for a job. The hiring manager is likely going to want to know what you are capable of, what credits you have to your name, and what kind of team player you are. Distinguish yourself on all these points by using an appropriate mix of “I” and “We” in your summarizations. Describe yourself as an involved team member as well as a standout project lead.  
• “My problem is….my colleagues don’t respect my position and authority when I speak up.” Yes, you are speaking up! Not always easy to do in some environments. Now, how do you deliver your message? Debbie described a colleague who would end her sentences with an upward swing in her intonation, sounding as if she was asking a question rather than issuing a statement. Speak with confidence and authority, be yourself, and use a tone and intonation that doesn’t invite your colleagues to question whether you are sure what you said.
• “In the beginning, I enjoyed a collegial relationship with my older colleague. Now, we aren’t so close. How can I work with someone who views me as fierce and competitive?” This scenario highlights the challenges and opportunities of multiple generations in the workplace. More senior and tenured staff usually earn and command the role of mentor to newer and younger colleagues. Then one day, the younger colleague who has caught on quickly maybe doesn’t see as great a need for her senior coworker.  How to keep peace in the workplace? The panelists shared that they enjoy being asked about their experiences. Younger colleagues, ask your seasoned co-workers, “What have you learned in your time here? What were your hard knocks? What mistakes can I avoid?” Listen and absorb, and some details about your organizational culture will likely emerge as well.

What behaviors have you personally witnessed – either for yourself or for your female counterparts – where colleagues have given up opportunities to impress their knowledge and skill? Or what behaviors have you seen to be quite effective in female practitioners you have worked with?