Project Management

Engaging “Difficult” Stakeholders

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Every project has stakeholders that may be labeled as “difficult.” While I’ll acknowledge that some people just choose to be difficult and contrary; many times there is a valid reason for someone being difficult. They are just not expressing themselves in the best way possible. This is not to excuse their behavior; but, look deeper into why they are being difficult.

For example, when I am dealing with “difficult” stakeholders, I listen and ask questions to understand what is going on. Through active listening and asking questions, I have learned of legitimate concerns and worries that were not addressed, such as:

  • How a project would impact a stakeholder’s job and career with the company
  • Whether a stakeholder would be able to learn the new skills and obtain the knowledge required to be successful
  • That there is a perception of too many unknowns and a lack of sufficient information/communications about what was happening and why
  • Too much going on already within the organization (or even personally in the stakeholder’s life) that impacts his/her ability to manage through one more change
  • Stakeholders feeling they are losing control
  • Stakeholders feeling they cannot provide input for changes that impact them directly

These are all very valid concerns and some stakeholders, rather than having a conversation, may dig in their heels and therefore be perceived as difficult.

Let’s not just label stakeholders. Have a conversation with them to understand what is going on. You’ll be better able to address the situation if you have some specifics rather than just trying to manage a “difficult” stakeholder. Each of the issues/concerns in the bulleted list above are far more workable (able to be addressed) than just changing a difficult stakeholder. Address the (perceived) concerns and issues and manage the stakeholder.

Try it out on your next project with a “difficult” stakeholder. You’ll see a difference!


Posted on: January 11, 2018 11:41 AM | Permalink

Comments (12)

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Sergio Luis Conte Helping to create solutions for everyone| Worldwide based Organizations Buenos Aires, Argentina
Thank you for sharing. In my case, I fully disagree about there are difficult stakeholders. There are not "difficult" or "not difficult" stakehodlers. People behaves in a way because their perception of reality. Reality is a matter of perception then there is a subjective component on it. Then, instead of think about difficult or non difficult stakeholder we need to work on stakeholders perception, basically on the perceived reality and the desiere reality.

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Gina Abudi President| Abudi Consulting LLC Amherst, Nh, United States
Thus, the "difficult" in quotes, Sergio. Too often we label individuals as being difficult and they are not. That is why I recommend listening and asking questions to understand what is really going on.

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Sergio Luis Conte Helping to create solutions for everyone| Worldwide based Organizations Buenos Aires, Argentina
Then, agree with you @Gina. Thank you very much for your post. No much people write about this topic from a totally independent intention to sell something like you did. Time ago, because I think is a critical topic to take into account I wrote an article that was published by the PMI.

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Gina Abudi President| Abudi Consulting LLC Amherst, Nh, United States
I will go look for your article, Sergio!

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Anish Abraham Privacy Program Manager| University of Washington Auburn, Wa, United States
You want to get to a point where you’re spending time on "difficult" stakeholders that really matter. Most importantly, we need to prioritize stakeholders based on their needs.

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Najam Mumtaz Retired Lahore, Punjab, Pakistan
Every stakeholder has his own perspective of looking at a project and how it is going to impact them. Listening and acknowledging to their concerns, making them understand what is unknown to them and addressing their concerns is a great way to get their support.
Thank you Gina for great pointers

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Sante Delle-Vergini, PhD Senior Project Manager| Infosys Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
What's a little difficulty in life, it spices up projects. Better to be challenged than to be catatonic.

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Andy Kaufman Host| People and Projects Podcast Lake Zurich, Il, United States
Great thoughts, Gina. I recently read through David Foster Wallace's classic commencement address (transcript: https://web.ics.purdue.edu/~drkelly/DFWKenyonAddress2005.pdf). One of his points is how we tend to see the world with us as the center--everything revolving around us. We wouldn't say it that way or admit to it or perhaps even be aware of it, but Wallace suggests this mindset is burned into us at birth.

In that mindset, of course these stakeholders are "difficult" because they're getting in "our" way. But Wallace challenges the notion, as you did as well Gina. The prescription to think differently is challenging but so worthy. Thank you, Gina!

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Diogo Simoes Entroncamento, Santarém, Portugal
I think key point here is: "active listening and asking questions"
Problems and issues are not to be avoid but faced and managed. Best way to deal with "difficult" people is to understand their motivations and fears.

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Gina Abudi President| Abudi Consulting LLC Amherst, Nh, United States
I had never read David Foster Wallace's commencement address, Andy. Thanks for sharing!

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KAVITHA RAMASWAMY Experienced Finance and Project Management Professional| Independent Consultant Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Great post, Gina. I too like the approach of stepping into the stakeholder's shoes and looking at it from their point of view! Thanks for sharing, sounds simple, if done well, it could be very effective!!

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Urban Urban Project Manager| ABB Switzerland Basel, Switzerland
Very valuable article. Listening and asking the right questions dissolves many a conflict. It breaks down to empathy and being eomotionanlly smart

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