The Problem with “Fake it ‘Till You Make it”
From the Authentic Success Blog
by Debbie Vandenakker
Authentic Success is a blog written for professionals about redefining their definition of success and how to do that. It's based on the premise that happiness = success, not the other way around. It includes a focus on Imposter Syndrome and all of its facets, as well as strategies for moving beyond it. Authentic success is a feeling, not a title or salary. This blog aims to provide continual evidence, suggestions and inspiration for high-achieving professionals so they can feel as successful on the inside as they appear to others on the outside.
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I hear this phrase all the time. At first it gave me this sort of free-fall feeling of “OK… let’s do this”. It would give me the courage to take the scary step in that moment. If this is how you use this statement, then by all means, let it be an in-the-moment tool for you.
BUT, the idea that you need to go through life “faking” anything is false. It implies that if you do something enough times, it will become “normal”. The action may become routine, but until you shift the energy causing the initial distress, all you are doing is shoving yet another part of your energy and emotions in to a box. That box isn’t free-flowing… it is stagnant and creates a loss of your overall energy.
A better plan is to figure out where the fear, anxiety and stress are coming from. Trust me when I say it isn’t this meeting, or that interview or the family gathering. The root lies somewhere else. Until you acknowledge and process that root, you will keep building stagnate boxes of energy in your system that eventually show up as burn out, anxiety attacks, chronic sickness and pain. When you experience the desire to “fake it ‘till you make it”, take a moment and ask yourself the following questions:
1. When have I felt like this before?
2. Who is the person associated with this feeling for you?
3. How do I want to feel in this situation instead?
I STRONGLY encourage you to find an energy practitioner that you resonate with to help you shift the core of the problem. You will be doing a great piece of the work here by answering these questions, but I don’t want to mislead you in to thinking that self-awareness is enough. It’s the first step… not the last one. The questions alone won’t solve the problem, but they will give you a path to follow to unlock those stagnant boxes and to let real emotions flow. You know, the good ones like happiness, purpose, confidence and joy.
Here is a short video that you can use to help with the in-the-moment fear and anxiety. Give it a try and then modify my words to suit any situation where you feel the need to “fake” it.
To your success,
Deb
Posted on: May 25, 2017 03:55 PM |
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Comments (7)
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Thanks for sharing Deb! Great video as well..good talking points we should all consider.
Thanks Ed:-) I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Aaron Porter
Community Champion
IT Director| Blade HQ
Payson, UT, United States
The problem with 'fake it until you make it' is that it gets applied to things that it shouldn't be. In the context that you describe, you are correct. But it is not the only context, and it doesn't mean 'fake it and don't do anything else to successfully make the transition until you make it.' If that is your approach, you are almost guaranteed to fail. Fear and anxiety aren't the only things that keep us from changing. Sometimes, it's the desire to change. I don't have fear or anxiety about exercising, and I know I should exercise, but it is definitely NOT a habit.
I don't mean to take away from your point. If fear and anxiety are keeping you from changing, faking it won't make them go away. You need to do more than fake it, but the point is really not about faking it. It's about making the effort even though it's hard. Sometimes you have to do more than just push yourself to change. There may be other issues you have to deal with before you can change. But if you don't push yourself, you probably won't change.
Rami Kaibni
Community Champion
Senior Projects Manager | Field & Marten Associates
New Westminster, British Columbia, Canada
Debbie, Good Post and nice video.
Nice post and point of view. Also liked the view.
Nevertheless I also have to agree with Aaron 'fake it and don't depends on the context If you "do anything else to successfully make the transition until you make it...you are almost guaranteed to fail."
I absolutely agree with you Aaron, and you weren't taking away from my point at all - you added to it:-) The effort to change is hard in whatever context there is, and I want people to understand that there are reasons for our behaviour... far beyond where "fake it till you make it" can take us. You are right - there are always "other issues" that have to be dealt with that almost never have anything to do with the current situation:-)
Thanks for the feedback, the insight and the comments everyone!
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