Alive & Kicking: Surviving Tough Projects

 

Who knew when I selected this topic that 2020 would be the proverbial project from hell for nearly everyone? Just making it from the start of the year to the end has been an insurmountable challenge for too many people around the world.

For those who have survived – and for the few who even feel they have thrived – this article considers which of the Character Strengths have been most prevalent this year.

Two of the generally lowest ranked (on average) character strengths in the world are prudence (the planning strength) and self-regulation[1]. Across the world, prudence is only rated as a signature strength by 10 – 20% of the population and self-regulation as a signature strength by less than 5% of the population[2].

This year though, our safety and well-being have depended on these two strengths – among many – to get us through. Tasks that were straightforward for some of us – such as picking up groceries – have become major projects with planning and execution strategies like never before even for the most privileged amongst us. Those of us who used to be able to “pop to the store,” to collect a missing ingredient or to top up supplies of a household staple now have to plan more carefully – who will go where, when and what do they need to be safe?

Self-regulation which is what helps us to ensure that we put a mask on EVERY time we encounter someone from outside the household and not just some of the time, has been engaged by most of us to a much greater extent than in the past.

Low strengths for me too

Prudence and Self-regulation are nowhere near my top strengths either. To boost those strengths, my focus has been on Kindness and Social Intelligence, Teamwork and Leadership. I want to be as responsible as I can be for those I come into contact with – I don’t want others to be put at risk because I am not mindful of my practices. I cannot expect others to mask up if I don’t. I cannot expect others to practice self-care if I don’t do the same.

While planning (yes, I know, I am a project manager! How can planning be a challenge?) and self-regulation are not strengths I feel I can depend on day in and day out, being aware of the safety and needs of others is something I can always do.

Which brings me to surviving tough projects through our strengths.

It is a common question from workshop participants and coaching clients to ask “what are the best strengths to cultivate to be a leader? a good project manager? The best parent?”

The answer I always give is “your top strengths used optimally” and recently I have added that cultivating optimal use of others’ strengths is also a great skill.

When we engage the top character strengths of others, we know that they are likely to more engaged, more loyal and committed, make fewer errors and get more done!

It can seem very hard to do. We are not used to highlighting the strengths of others. In the west at least, our focus tends to be on what is wrong and not what is strong.

This is where the SEA method comes into play. Have a list of strengths you want to be on the look out for. There are many lists out on the internet. My personal favorite comes from the VIA Institute on Character. Their list of 24 character strengths is a common language we can all use and recognize to appreciate the strengths in ourselves and others. It is evidence-based and has been the focus of over 500 studies worldwide.

For example, the wisdom strengths of Creativity, Curiosity, Judgment, Love of Learning and Perspective, or the humanity strengths of Kindness, Love and Social Intelligence are all concepts we tend to understand.

(From the VIA Institute on Character 2020)

Then you use any opportunity – a family dinner, a work meeting on ZOOM/phone/in person, a movie night – to do the following three steps:

1. Spot the character strength
2. Explain the behavior that demonstrated that strength
3. Appreciate the strength with specific feedback on why it makes a difference.

A couple of tips:

1. Don’t worry about getting it wrong – if you SEA it then the recipient of the feedback is most likely to respond positively.
2. Make it a habit for a week to do this for one person each day and see what happens. This is a great time of year to use this approach to help boost the confidence of others and boost your own mood!

Good comes from not so good

Although this year has been stressful, unpredictable and downright unmanageable for some of us, there have been bright spots. For me personally, the most wonderful thing to come out of 2020 would have been wonderful in any year. In 2020, we launched our In It Together Coaching program – Navigating Challenges through Strengths in association with the North Carolina (NCPMI) and NC-Triad (PMI-Triad) chapters of PMI. 

13 coaches have come together to create the program and two PMI chapters – NCPMI and PM-NC-TRIAD – are helping us to get the word out to project managers that support is here. It started when a few of us came together in March to share a pro-bono program for project managers suddenly faced with living at work (because they were working from home) as well as supporting family schooling, isolated parents and more. The world seemed to turn on its head and in that moment our team came together.

And here is our In It Together VIA character strengths profile:

Signature strengths are those strengths generally at the top of our profile that are at our core – they are essential, energizing and effortless in their display and execution. We can hardly help but express our signature strengths in almost all that we do. Mine for example are appreciation of beauty, bravery, curiosity, fairness, and gratitude.

The wonder of our team is created by both the top strengths we share – love of learning, gratitude, spirituality - as they provide a bond and common ground, balanced with those top strengths that we might miss out on if we did not team up with others.

The other wonder is the authentic appreciation we have for those in the group who are like us and those who are not. We learn a lot from each other about different values, lived experiences and points of view.

As one of our coaches says, “you may not like what you hear from me, but there is sure to be someone in the group who speaks to you in a way that is meaningful to you”.

We are fortunate to have two team members who are high in what I call the “2020 strengths of the year,” self-regulation and prudence. Not only do they contribute those special and relatively rare ingredients to the team, their families and their communities; they also model behavior that may not come naturally to the rest of us.

As we stride or tumble headlong into 2021 which is in itself a project full of uncertainty, look around you.

• Who is on your team?
• What strengths do they bring to the table?
• What strengths do you share?
• How can they support you?
• And how can you support them?

I feel that the team around me is the secret to navigating the new year in a fruitful and positive way. That at the end of 2021 I will still be alive and kicking!

How about you?

[1] McGrath, Robert. (2014). Character strengths in 75 nations: An update. The Journal of Positive Psychology. 10. 41-52. 10.1080/17439760.2014.888580.

[2] McGrath, R. E. (2017). Technical report: The VIA Assessment Suite for Adults: Development and initial evaluation. Cincinnati, OH: VIA Institute on Character.